I have a 100% real, absolutely serious offer for any women in the audience over the age of 18. I assure you; although I am a humorist, this is no joke.
Category Archives: Bad Influences
Too Rare To Die
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Filed under Bad Influences, Girls of BIUL, Worst Of All
3-D House of Vax
Something important to keep in mind right now; we do not live in “the Bad Timeline”. We live in Bad Times.
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Filed under Bad Influences, Don't Know Don't Care, Idiot's Delight, Worst Of All
Abort Yourself
Want to hear a funny story? It’s true, too. I used to be “pro-choice”, up until not that long ago. I was pretty outspoken about it back in high school. Why do you think that was?
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Filed under Bad Influences, Don't Know Don't Care, Worst Of All
Straight Talk
I’m ostensibly going to talk about double standards in the media for a bit here. I may repeat myself from previous articles for emphasis. Consider yourself warned.
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Filed under Bad Influences, Comix Classic & Current, Don't Know Don't Care, Girls of BIUL, Worst Of All
The Super Mario Paradox
Some say nostalgia is a trap; I believe, like most things in life, nostalgia is best enjoyed in moderation. Look around this site, clearly nostalgia is my bread and butter, admittedly in a satirical sense. But the negative aspects of nostalgia are like those of a nuclear reactor; when it’s bad, it’s bad.
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Filed under Bad Influences, Faint Signals, Nostalgic Obsessions, Saturday Movie Matinee, Thousand Listen Club
Carry Stress In The Jaw
This is more of a mass update/blog post than the typical fare I offer here, so please bear with me. Mucht appreciated in advance.
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Filed under Bad Influences, Don't Know Don't Care, Idiot's Delight, Worst Of All
On The Offensive
Some people live their entire lives without ever realizing the restraints the real world puts upon them. They work a regular 9-to-5 job, watch regular TV shows, and read the comics in the Sunday paper, regularly. They make small talk with everyone they know, and keep any heavy thoughts they might have to themselves.
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Filed under Bad Influences, Comix Classic & Current, Girls of BIUL, Nostalgic Obsessions
It’s All So Tiresome
Real quick; the title phrase comes from a Belgian documentary called Empire of Dust. I assume you haven’t seen it, because no matter how fervently I recommend it, and no matter how much I know the person to whom I’m recommending it would appreciate it, literally no one ever watches it.
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Filed under Bad Influences, Don't Know Don't Care, Idiot's Delight, Worst Of All
The Remora of Tragedy
Continue readingRemora front dorsal fins have evolved to enable them to adhere by suction to smooth surfaces, and they spend most of their lives clinging to a host animal such as a whale, turtle, shark or ray. It is probably a mutualistic arrangement as the remora can move around on the host, removing ectoparasites and loose flakes of skin, while benefiting from the protection provided by the host and the constant flow of water across its gills. Although it was initially believed that remoras fed off particulate matter from the host’s meals, this has been shown to be false; in reality, their diets are composed primarily of host feces.
Wikipedia, trustworthy only for anything apolitical
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Movies I Hate
Last night it happened, again. I willingly sat through a film that evoked such animosity, such blinding and violent hatred in myself, I couldn’t sleep afterward. I lay awake, practically steaming, trying to work out how I could find and slaughter every member of the cast and crew.
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Filed under Bad Influences, Don't Know Don't Care, Idiot's Delight, Movies You Missed, Saturday Movie Matinee, Worst Of All
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