Until his passing five months ago, I had a hamster named Gomez Houdini. His surname came from his determination in escaping from cardboard boxes, through dutifully chewed-out holes. (That’s what the famous magician did, right? Chewed his way out?)
Category Archives: Great Hamsters I Have Known
A Critter’s Life
Comments Off on A Critter’s Life
Filed under Great Hamsters I Have Known
Tell Your Dumb Wife To Shut Up
I know at least one or two of you out there have been wondering why I’ve posted so infrequently this year, and why I went completely AWOL from social media. Since the truth is bound to trickle out very soon, I thought I’d break the news here, where it can be shared with the most readers. Guess what friends:
💑 💒 💕 💘 ❣ I GOT MARRIED!!! 💑 💒 💕 💘 ❣
Continue readingComments Off on Tell Your Dumb Wife To Shut Up
Filed under Bad Influences, Girls of BIUL, Great Hamsters I Have Known, Podcastery, Unfairly Maligned, Worst Of All
Ralphie Boy
Imagine if everything you knew about human existence, from birth to death, was based on the years 2020 to 2022. Imagine if the worst two years of almost everybody’s lives thus far encompassed your entire lifetime. Would it be a good life, or bad?
Continue readingComments Off on Ralphie Boy
Filed under Great Hamsters I Have Known
Requiem For Bitey
Comments Off on Requiem For Bitey
Filed under Great Hamsters I Have Known
46th & Vern
Yesterday, I had my birthday. Everyone wished me good luck.
Isn’t that a great song? I love that album. Crispin Glover is one of my favorite people. Remember when he was “Uncle Dell” in David Lynch’s Wild At Heart? How he stayed up all night making sandwiches?
Comments Off on 46th & Vern
Filed under Faint Signals, Great Hamsters I Have Known, Movies You Missed, Nostalgic Obsessions, Site Stuff, Thousand Listen Club
Vern’s Vet Adventure
When something restores your overall morale, and very nearly your faith in humanity, that something must be publicly acknowledged. And yes, that’s humanity, not “hupeopleity”, or any other spurious, Canadian word salad.
Two things you already know if you’ve read articles on this site in the past month: 1., I’m flat broke, and 2., my dwarf hamster Vern has had a growth under his chin since mid-January.
A Vern in the hand.
This past week, the growth grew significantly, and I began to worry that it was hurting Vern. Hopefully you don’t know this, but when you’re so broke that you can’t even provide for the pet that depends on you, the spiral of shame and depression is mind-boggling in its brutality.
Comments Off on Vern’s Vet Adventure
Filed under Great Hamsters I Have Known, Site Stuff
Valentine’s Vern II: The Squeakquel
Vern, aka Vernal Squeequinox, is my Winter White dwarf hamster. You might have seen him in other articles here, or in my interminable Facebook posts. Maybe you’re not interested in another page about my emotional support hamster*, but I assure you, Vern only wants to share love. Like me, he takes his small fandom very seriously. (As seriously as a tiny ball of fluff can take anything.)
A snoozing Vern in an Ovo pod.
*As a favor to me, please remember this: I never, ever, want to hear any tragic stories about hamsters, yours or otherwise. Never. I’m asking you nicely.
HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY!
Comments Off on Valentine’s Vern II: The Squeakquel
Filed under Great Hamsters I Have Known
Valentine’s Vern
My dwarf hamster Vern (aka Vernal Squeequinox) has a Valentine just for you!
You might notice that Wheeljack makes an unscheduled cameo, and that my camera is busted (hence the cinéma vérité/shaky camera effect). Cheerios are like crack to Vern.
Comments Off on Valentine’s Vern
Filed under Eatable Things, Girls of BIUL, Great Hamsters I Have Known
Great Hamsters I Have Known
Today, a great hamster was laid to rest. His name was Boris.
We must not be sad, and instead celebrate the all-too-brief life of a beloved creature. Boris was curious, friendly, and adored by all who knew him; even the folks who disliked his kind. By some cosmic coincidence, the grey-and-white patches on his back formed a big “B”. Continue reading
Comments Off on Great Hamsters I Have Known
Filed under Great Hamsters I Have Known
You must be logged in to post a comment.