Category Archives: Robot Toy Fetish

08/17/2017 · 1:46 pm

Mad Doctors of the Late 20th Century

Mad medicine was everywhere in the 80s and 90s. There were toys and playsets endorsed by mad doctors, for use by kids. Every time you watched cartoons, you saw a skinny dude with crazy hair in a white lab coat, maniacally mixing chemicals and potions for some nefarious purpose. Under the influence of this, I created my own mad medicine man; Dr. Kill-Everybody.

Dr. K (no hair), with Fronkin Steen and Psuto Moto.

Either the trope became shopworn around 2001, or something happened that discouraged children from playing with chemicals. You don’t see mad doctors and scientists like you used to. Maybe this is a good thing; maybe the concept was subconsciously driving impressionable kids away from lucrative STEM-field careers. I don’t know.

What I do know is this. Mad doctors once flourished in our society, even though they were annoying, and generally sucked.

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Filed under Animation Analysis, Bad Influences, Comix Classic & Current, Faint Signals, Idiot's Delight, Nostalgic Obsessions, Robot Toy Fetish, Saturday Movie Matinee, Worst Of All

Tagged as 1980s, 1987, 1990, 1990s, 2016, Bionic Six, Bots Master, Casey Kasem, Cops, corporate crap, Dick Tracy, fake rap, New Jersey, RoboCop, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, toys, Transformers, Tyler Perry

06/22/2017 · 10:15 am

Matty Watches Transformers: The Last Knight

As an “underground” artist, I go broke often. Sometimes I have to sacrifice comfort or nourishment to pay my rent.

Sometimes, I’m broke because I’m a total assclown who takes public transportation across town to see a $22 popcorn movie, alone. (I didn’t have enough for actual popcorn.)

Even while facing the consequences, I have no regrets.

I don’t know what the hell Al Gore had to do with the history of Transformers, and I don’t want to know. I had to sit through the trailer for his second bullshit global-warming scare film, and he can go fuck himself with an iceberg.

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Filed under Bad Influences, Idiot's Delight, Movies You Missed, Nostalgic Obsessions, Robot Toy Fetish, Saturday Movie Matinee, Unfairly Maligned

Tagged as 1980s, 1986, 1988, 1990s, 1991, 1996, 2000, 2007, 2008, 2017, 3-D, Cartoon Network, corporate crap, Dark of the Moon, Godzilla, Hasbro, Mark Wahlberg, Michael Bay, movies, Optimus Prime, Revenge of the Fallen, Robert Loggia, Steve Buscemi, The Simpsons, The Transformers: The Movie, Tom Hanks, Transformers, Zero Mostel

05/14/2017 · 10:39 am

Rocketry Club

From BIUL II.

Kidding and perversity aside, we used to have “rocketry club” at school. Well, I didn’t; it was all done away with by the time I reached seventh grade. Kids could care less about the excitement of space and walking on the moon now.

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Filed under Comix Classic & Current, Faint Signals, Nostalgic Obsessions, Robot Toy Fetish, Saturday Movie Matinee

Tagged as 1960s, 1970s, 1983, 1986, 2002, 2007, 2011, Attack of the Clones, Bands I Useta Like, Buzz Aldrin, comix, Davey & Goliath, depression, despair, Florida, rocketry, Russia, Sandra Bullock, school, Stanley Kubrick, Star Wars, The Right Stuff, The Shining, Transformers

04/24/2017 · 4:12 pm

Forever Insufferable

If it were up to me, this entire website would be nothing but pictures of womens’ tits. Oh, except in the sidebar, there’d be a link to all the reviews I’ve written about Transformers toys. If it were up to me.

Wait a second… it is up to me. It’s my site. So why don’t I?

Good question. I could probably make a tidy income doing it. So why not?

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Filed under Bad Influences, Don't Know Don't Care, Idiot's Delight, Robot Toy Fetish, Worst Of All

Tagged as 1980, 1999, 2009, 2012, Bands I Useta Like, Ben Affleck, breasts, Edward Norton, Facebook, Futurama, J.J. Abrams, Mike the Pod, PlayStation, political correctness, Saturday Night Live, sellouts, Spike Lee, Star Trek, Star Wars, The 25th Hour, The Simpsons, Transformers

03/30/2017 · 1:02 pm

Kurt Ro-Bain

From Bands I Useta Like Spring Break Special #1.

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Filed under Bad Influences, Comix Classic & Current, Idiot's Delight, Magazine Rack, Robot Toy Fetish

Tagged as 1990s, 2014, Courtney Love, Dave Grohl, El Duce, heroin, Kurt Cobain, MTV, Nirvana, suicide

03/06/2017 · 1:02 pm

PaRappa the Crapper

Long ago, in the Before Times, I was dating a woman with a very young daughter. I had not yet gelled as an artistic entity, and was in the process of learning that I’m really not cut out to be a father, even a surrogate one. This became apparent on two occasions. Both were attempts on my part to make a connection with a kid. Both failed hilariously.

The first was the purchase of a “children’s book”. I spent hours at Books-A-Million (down the block from Media Play) hunting for just the right one. It had to be colorful, clever, and not condescending. I refused to buy anything “kiddie”, on principle. It had to be something that enticed, thrilled, and sparked the imagination, like the books I read in my grade school library.

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Filed under Bad Influences, Don't Know Don't Care, Faint Signals, Girls of BIUL, Idiot's Delight, Nostalgic Obsessions, Robot Toy Fetish, Thousand Listen Club

Tagged as 1990s, 1996, 1998, Atari 2600, books, Can (band), Dance Dance Revolution, death, Gary Larson, Georgia, Masaya Matsuura, Media Play, music, New Jersey, PaRappa the Rapper, pre 9/11, Resident Evil, Rodney Greenblat, Savannah, The Far Side, Tomb Raider, toys, Transformers, videogames, women

02/08/2017 · 3:16 pm

The Commoditization of Emotional Discovery

Feel like crying?

There’s an entire genre of movies, TV shows and music, explicitly designed to mollify you in your time of emotional distress. Plus, there’s a contrived ending that tells you everything’s okay. Or not. It’s basically sadness porn, after all.

Feel like laughing? Same deal. Entire blocks of television programming are devoted to laughter, loaded with disparate commercials for unhealthy items and services. You can “binge-watch” every stand-up special a comedian has produced, and then argue about a decrease in their edge, on the Internet. Isn’t that fantastic?

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Filed under Don't Know Don't Care, Eatable Things, Idiot's Delight, Nostalgic Obsessions, Robot Toy Fetish, Uncategorized, Worst Of All

Tagged as 2010s, comedy, corporate crap, Deadpool, Donald Trump, Francis Ford Coppola, GoBots, Hamilton: The Musical, Internet, Jim Carrey, laughter, Mark Millar, Martin Scorcese, McDonald's, Michael Bay, movies, music, political correctness, pop music, Rob Liefeld, Ryan Reynolds, sellouts, SJWs, smartphones, stand-up comedy, Superman, The Oscars, Transformers, trigger warning, Twitter, whores

01/27/2017 · 12:00 am

3-D’s Nuts

3-D movies employ greatly improved technology today. Previously, they used the same glasses as 3-D comic books did; cardboard with acetate lenses in red and blue.

My personal pair, since 1991’s Freddy’s Dead: The Final Nightmare. (As much as would fit on my scanner.)

3-D comics were unreadable without these glasses. I still have two issues: Gumby 3-D and Transformers in 3-D #3, both from Blackthorne Publishing.

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Filed under Bad Influences, Comix Classic & Current, Faint Signals, Idiot's Delight, Magazine Rack, Movies You Missed, Nostalgic Obsessions, Robot Toy Fetish, Saturday Movie Matinee

Tagged as 1980s, 1985, 1986, 1987, 1990s, 1991, 3-D, Atari 2600, Back To The Future, Back To The Future II, Brain May, Casey Siemaszko, corporate crap, Dustin Hoffman, Freddy Krueger, Gremlins, hip hop, Hulk Hogan, Mad Max, movies, Nightmare on Elm Street 3, Optimus Prime, Parliament, Steely Dan, The Oscars, Three O'Clock High, Transformers, Tupac Shakur

01/20/2017 · 6:10 pm

21st Century Hatfields and McCoys

The first brand feud I can remember is Atari vs. Intellivision.

Note Major League Baseball endorsement. And misspelling of product name in quote. Superior, my Aunt Fanny.

Some kids had an Atari 2600 game console; some kids had an Intellivision. (Some kids had an Odyssey 2 or a Vectrex, but not for very long.) Atari kids hated Intellivision kids, and vice versa. The TV commercials for both brands stoked this hatred; George Plimpton appeared in an ad for Intellivision, which he explained meant “Intelligent Television”. Ergo, kids who played Atari were stupid. Continue reading →

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Filed under Bad Influences, Don't Know Don't Care, Faint Signals, Idiot's Delight, Nostalgic Obsessions, Robot Toy Fetish

Tagged as 1980s, 1984, 2017, advertising, Atari 2600, corporate crap, George Plympton, Great Videogame Crash of 1983, Halo, Intellivision, LAN parties, Macintosh, Mattel, Mattel electronic football, Microsoft, Nintendo, Odyssey 2, online gaming, Pac-Man, PlayStation, Sega Genesis, sports, Super Mario Bros., television, Vectrex, Xbox

12/26/2016 · 7:16 pm

Before It Was Choked On

From BIUL III.

Look, choking sucks. I don’t have to point that out, do I? And truthfully, most toys have small parts these days, and there’s a warning about them on the package. But those clickers are long gone. They blocked a toddler’s airway better than a spoonful of shellac.

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Filed under Bad Influences, Comix Classic & Current, Eatable Things, Faint Signals, Idiot's Delight, Nostalgic Obsessions, Robot Toy Fetish, Saturday Movie Matinee

Tagged as 1980s, 1984, 1985, 1990s, 2016, Bands I Useta Like, Captain Power, corporate crap, Dr. Fad, Lazer Tag, Megatron, New Jersey, Photon, toys, Transformers, Voltron

Category Archives: Robot Toy Fetish

Mad Doctors of the Late 20th Century

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Matty Watches Transformers: The Last Knight

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Rocketry Club

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Forever Insufferable

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Kurt Ro-Bain

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PaRappa the Crapper

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The Commoditization of Emotional Discovery

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3-D’s Nuts

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21st Century Hatfields and McCoys

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Before It Was Choked On

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