Category Archives: Saturday Movie Matinee

02/26/2017 · 9:54 pm

Why We All Love Bill Paxton

William “Bill” Paxton (May 17, 1955 – February 25, 2017) was born and raised in Fort Worth, Texas, the son of Mary Lou (née Gray) and John Lane Paxton. His father was a businessman, lumber wholesaler, museum executive, and occasional actor. His mother was Roman Catholic, and he and his siblings were raised in her faith. Paxton was in the crowd when President John F. Kennedy emerged from the Hotel Texas on the morning of his assassination on November 22, 1963. Photographs of an 8-year-old Paxton being lifted above the crowd are on display at the Sixth Floor Museum in Dallas, Texas. [Wikipedia]

We all love Bill Paxton. Here’s ten reasons why.

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Filed under Faint Signals, Movies You Missed, Saturday Movie Matinee, Thousand Listen Club

Tagged as 1963, 1980s, 1990s, 2017, Aliens, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Barnes & Barnes, Bill Mumy, Bill Paxton, Broken Lizard, Cary Elwes, Club Dread, comedy, Dallas, Danny Glover, Fort Worth, Gloria Stuart, Helen Hunt, James Cameron, JFK, Jimmy Buffett, Kathryn Bigelow, Kelly LeBrock, laughter, Maria Conchita Alonso, Morton Downey, movies, Near Dark, Oingo Boingo, Predator 2, Super Troopers, Texas, The Terminator, Titanic, Tom Arnold, Tombstone, True Lies, Twister, Weird Science

02/17/2017 · 1:51 pm

Channel FUM

I propose a concept for a new 24-hour network.

FUM. The Fucked-Up Movies Channel.

By watching FUM, you agree to the terms and conditions of the network. In short:

All the movies aired on this channel are fucked up.
If you get fucked up by watching it, too fucking bad.

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Filed under Bad Influences, Faint Signals, Idiot's Delight, Movies You Missed, Saturday Movie Matinee, Thousand Listen Club, Unfairly Maligned, Worst Of All

Tagged as 1970s, 1990s, 2000s, 2005, Bling Bling, Bumfights, Charlotte Gainsbourg, Chloe Sevigny, Divine, Dr. Phil, Ewen Bremner, Gummo, Happy Campers, Harmony Korine, Indecline, John Waters, Keanu Reeves, Lars Von Trier, Las Vegas, movies, Nicolas Winding Refn, Ninth Cloud, pre 9/11, Sixtoo, underground, Willem Dafoe, YouTube

02/01/2017 · 12:02 am

Hate Proof: “You’re The Best (Around)”

Believe it or not, I have never seen The Karate Kid.

HI-KEEBA!

I know, right? Hasn’t everybody seen it? Well, sure, except for guys like me, who were totally and prematurely embittered towards the entire experience. Guys who were in sixth grade when The Karate Kid came out.

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Filed under Faint Signals, Idiot's Delight, Movies You Missed, Nostalgic Obsessions, Saturday Movie Matinee, Thousand Listen Club

Tagged as 1980s, 1984, 9/11/01, Bill Conti, Blade Runner, Bryan Adams, depression, Donna Summer, Dune, Frank Herbert, Full Metal Jacket, It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia, Joe "Bean" Esposito, Marvel comics, Matthew Modine, movies, Pat Morita, Ralph Macchio, Rod Stewart, Stanley Kubrick, The Karate Kid, Toni Basil, Vangelis, Vincent D'Onofrio

01/27/2017 · 12:00 am

3-D’s Nuts

3-D movies employ greatly improved technology today. Previously, they used the same glasses as 3-D comic books did; cardboard with acetate lenses in red and blue.

My personal pair, since 1991’s Freddy’s Dead: The Final Nightmare. (As much as would fit on my scanner.)

3-D comics were unreadable without these glasses. I still have two issues: Gumby 3-D and Transformers in 3-D #3, both from Blackthorne Publishing.

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Filed under Bad Influences, Comix Classic & Current, Faint Signals, Idiot's Delight, Magazine Rack, Movies You Missed, Nostalgic Obsessions, Robot Toy Fetish, Saturday Movie Matinee

Tagged as 1980s, 1985, 1986, 1987, 1990s, 1991, 3-D, Atari 2600, Back To The Future, Back To The Future II, Brain May, Casey Siemaszko, corporate crap, Dustin Hoffman, Freddy Krueger, Gremlins, hip hop, Hulk Hogan, Mad Max, movies, Nightmare on Elm Street 3, Optimus Prime, Parliament, Steely Dan, The Oscars, Three O'Clock High, Transformers, Tupac Shakur

01/06/2017 · 9:44 am

“All The Snakes Go Crazy”

I have this idea for a movie. It was kind of inspired by Snakes on a Plane, but not in the way you think; my movie would be good. It would be relatively inexpensive to make and gross tons of money. Hear me out.

The idea is: one day, all the snakes go crazy. Continue reading →

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Filed under Don't Know Don't Care, Idiot's Delight, Movies You Missed, Saturday Movie Matinee

Tagged as comedy, Klezmer, laughter, movies, Q*bert, Samuel L. Jackson, Saturday Night Live, snakes, Snakes on a Plane, Tracy Morgan

12/29/2016 · 1:55 pm

Ah Leia Akbar

Carrie Fisher, the beloved actress who played the role of Princess Leia Organa in Star Wars, is no longer alive. You’re welcome for the update, recently-awakened coma victim.

There is literally nothing I can say about this. Literally; even praise will be feted as heresy. Legendary comedian Steve Martin, who knew Fisher, dared to tweet that she was beautiful when he met her, and of course the virtue-signalers can’t have that.

This is a gift from the man who made The Jerk and wrote Picasso at the Lapin Agile, you philistines.

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Filed under Faint Signals, Girls of BIUL, Idiot's Delight, Nostalgic Obsessions, Saturday Movie Matinee

Tagged as 1970s, 1977, 1980, 1980s, 1983, 1986, 1987, Carrie Fisher, CGI, corporate crap, Debbie Reynolds, despair, Disney, Donnie Iris, Harrison Ford, Heavy Metal, movies, Return of the Jedi, sellouts, Spaceballs, Star Wars, Steve Martin, The Blues Brothers, The Empire Strikes Back, The Fifth Element, The Jerk, The Transformers: The Movie, Tom Hanks

12/26/2016 · 7:16 pm

Before It Was Choked On

From BIUL III.

Look, choking sucks. I don’t have to point that out, do I? And truthfully, most toys have small parts these days, and there’s a warning about them on the package. But those clickers are long gone. They blocked a toddler’s airway better than a spoonful of shellac.

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Filed under Bad Influences, Comix Classic & Current, Eatable Things, Faint Signals, Idiot's Delight, Nostalgic Obsessions, Robot Toy Fetish, Saturday Movie Matinee

Tagged as 1980s, 1984, 1985, 1990s, 2016, Bands I Useta Like, Captain Power, corporate crap, Dr. Fad, Lazer Tag, Megatron, New Jersey, Photon, toys, Transformers, Voltron

12/22/2016 · 3:26 pm

Unfairly Maligned: Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

For your benefit, I will begin this article with a warning: 18 seconds of this movie consist of Shia LeBeouf swinging from vines with CGI monkeys. I know 18 seconds doesn’t seem like a long time, but apparently it’s an eternity for some people. It all depends on your perspective, or lack thereof.

The sequence is so brief, it was hard to screencap.

In 2008, Harrison Ford returned to the screen as globe-trotting archaeologist Henry “Indiana” Jones, Junior after a 19-year absence. I myself have been (to be kind) fanatical about Indy since Raiders of the Lost Ark in 1981, so before I saw Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, I knew several things.

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Filed under Bad Influences, Movies You Missed, Nostalgic Obsessions, Saturday Movie Matinee, Unfairly Maligned

Tagged as 1957, 1980s, 1981, 1984, 1989, 2008, Cate Blanchett, Denholm Elliott, Elvis Presley, George Lucas, Harrison Ford, Indiana Jones, Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom, Jim Broadbent, John's Arm: Armageddon, Karen Allen, movies, Mystery Science Theater 3000, New Jersey, Ray Winstone, Shia LeBeouf, South Park, Star Wars, Steven Spielberg, The Empire Strikes Back

11/13/2016 · 12:20 am

Gridbug Chasers

In the 1982 science-fiction fantasy TRON, there comes a moment inside the computer world where the protagonists are imperiled by “gridbugs”.

Clearly a threat.

The danger is underlined by dialogue spoken by Cindy Morgan, as the shapely input/output program Yori:

“This isn’t going to be easy. If those gridbugs get us, we’ve had it.”

The gridbugs in question get a ten-second interlude, complete with a unique and rather corny soundtrack cue, and then go on to never affect anything or even be mentioned in passing again. Continue reading →

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Filed under Animation Analysis, Don't Know Don't Care, Faint Signals, Idiot's Delight, Movies You Missed, Nostalgic Obsessions, Robot Toy Fetish, Saturday Movie Matinee, Unfairly Maligned, Worst Of All

Tagged as 1978, 1982, Brad Dourif, Breakfast At Tiffany's, Cindy Morgan, corporate crap, Disney, Flannery O'Connor, Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, John Huston, Michael Bay, Ministry, movies, Shia LaBeouf, Superman, Transformers, Tron, Wise Blood

10/31/2016 · 3:17 pm

The Hidden

One of my favorite movies of all time is The Hidden, from 1987.

This is the movie that got Kyle MacLachlan cast in Twin Peaks. It was made by the same crew that did Nightmare on Elm Street. If, by some fluke, you’ve never experienced it, allow me to make a case for why it’s probably the greatest film ever made.

Kyle MacLachlan is mysterious FBI agent Lloyd Gallagher. Michael Nouri is the L.A.P.D. detective stuck working with him, investigating a weird string of robberies and murders. You see, an extraterrestrial entity is taking over people’s bodies, and making them kill. This alien also enjoys heavy metal, Ferraris, and high-powered assault weapons. Continue reading →

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Filed under Faint Signals, Movies You Missed, Nostalgic Obsessions, O'Shloktoberfest, Saturday Movie Matinee, Thousand Listen Club

Tagged as 1980s, 1987, alternative music, Andrea Thompson, Babylon 5, Brad Fiedel, breasts, Clarence Felder, Claudia Christian, Dick Tracy, DragonCon, Ed O'Ross, Gary Busey, horror movies, I.R.S. Records, Jack Sholder, Jacques Haitkin, Kyle MacLachlan, Lethal Weapon, Lin Shaye, metal, Michael Convertino, Michael Nouri, Miles Copeland III, movies, Nightmare on Elm Street, NYPD Blue, Richard Brooks, sci-fi, Stewart Copeland, The Hidden, The Terminator, Wendie Malick, Wes Craven, William Orbit

Category Archives: Saturday Movie Matinee

Why We All Love Bill Paxton

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Channel FUM

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Hate Proof: “You’re The Best (Around)”

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3-D’s Nuts

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“All The Snakes Go Crazy”

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Ah Leia Akbar

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Before It Was Choked On

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Unfairly Maligned: Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

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Gridbug Chasers

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The Hidden

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