Category Archives: Unfairly Maligned

07/03/2017 · 1:40 pm

The Gadfly Trap

A gadfly is a person who interferes the status quo of a society or community by posing novel, potently upsetting questions, usually directed at authorities. The term is originally associated with the ancient Greek philosopher Socrates, in his defense when on trial for his life. [Wikipedia]

Imagine if you visited this site, only to discover that I had renounced my acerbic commentary on the world of music, and devoted my time to interviewing popular musicians of the day, in glowing “puff pieces”. How would you feel?

Betrayed?

From BIUL #2.

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Filed under Bad Influences, Don't Know Don't Care, Faint Signals, Idiot's Delight, Podcastery, Thousand Listen Club, Unfairly Maligned, Worst Of All

Tagged as 1990s, Anthony Cumia, Artie Lange, comedy, corporate crap, Howard Stern, Jim Norton, Kathy Griffin, laughter, Marci Turk, NYC, Opie & Anthony, political correctness, radio, satellite radio, sellouts, Sherrod Small

06/22/2017 · 10:15 am

Matty Watches Transformers: The Last Knight

As an “underground” artist, I go broke often. Sometimes I have to sacrifice comfort or nourishment to pay my rent.

Sometimes, I’m broke because I’m a total assclown who takes public transportation across town to see a $22 popcorn movie, alone. (I didn’t have enough for actual popcorn.)

Even while facing the consequences, I have no regrets.

I don’t know what the hell Al Gore had to do with the history of Transformers, and I don’t want to know. I had to sit through the trailer for his second bullshit global-warming scare film, and he can go fuck himself with an iceberg.

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Filed under Bad Influences, Idiot's Delight, Movies You Missed, Nostalgic Obsessions, Robot Toy Fetish, Saturday Movie Matinee, Unfairly Maligned

Tagged as 1980s, 1986, 1988, 1990s, 1991, 1996, 2000, 2007, 2008, 2017, 3-D, Cartoon Network, corporate crap, Dark of the Moon, Godzilla, Hasbro, Mark Wahlberg, Michael Bay, movies, Optimus Prime, Revenge of the Fallen, Robert Loggia, Steve Buscemi, The Simpsons, The Transformers: The Movie, Tom Hanks, Transformers, Zero Mostel

03/27/2017 · 1:37 pm

Signature Moves

Why is Walt Disney’s signature on Star Wars?

Look, kids! Vague, controllable versions of things you love! Signed by a corpse who had no part in any of it! BUY BUY BUY!!!

Not just his name; his signature. As though he was the architect of its design. Walt Disney created Mickey Mouse and Donald Duck, right? Tinkerbell, sparkly glitter, and magic castles. Horrible TV-movies every Sunday. That’s Walt Disney. Around 1980, I was into Star Wars to get away from all that corny shit.

Now you’re telling me it’s Walt Disney’s property?

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Filed under Bad Influences, Don't Know Don't Care, Idiot's Delight, Movies You Missed, Nostalgic Obsessions, Saturday Movie Matinee, Unfairly Maligned

Tagged as 1940, 1940s, 1970s, 1972, 1977, 1980, 1980s, Attack of the Clones, Carrie Fisher, corporate crap, Disney, Ernie Fosselius, George Lucas, Hardware Wars, Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom, Lemmings, Mark Hamill, Mickey Mouse, movies, Return of the Jedi, Revenge of the Sith, sellouts, Star Wars, The Empire Strikes Back, The Matrix, The Phantom Menace

03/19/2017 · 1:35 pm

The Shnoz of Charles de Gaulle

Ahh, the French!

I adore them. Their art, their culture, their contributions to the enlightenment of our world. Hate me all you want, but I never felt prouder of Donald Trump than I did when he refused to shake Angela Merkel’s hand for a photo op. Trump didn’t want to get France’s blood all over his hand, and Merkel’s mitts are positively oozing with the spilt plasma of Europe.

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Filed under Animation Analysis, Eatable Things, Faint Signals, Thousand Listen Club, Unfairly Maligned

Tagged as 1943, 2002, 2003, 2017, Albert Dupontel, Blake Edwards, Charles de Gaulle, comedy, Donald Trump, Europe, France, Gaspar Noe, Honore Daumier, Irreversible, laughter, Monica Bellucci, movies, music, Orson Welles, Peter Sellers, political correctness, Scott Walker, Steve Carell, Sylvain Chomet, The Pink Panther, Triplets of Belleville, Vincent Cassel, Winston Churchill, World War II

02/17/2017 · 1:51 pm

Channel FUM

I propose a concept for a new 24-hour network.

FUM. The Fucked-Up Movies Channel.

By watching FUM, you agree to the terms and conditions of the network. In short:

All the movies aired on this channel are fucked up.
If you get fucked up by watching it, too fucking bad.

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Filed under Bad Influences, Faint Signals, Idiot's Delight, Movies You Missed, Saturday Movie Matinee, Thousand Listen Club, Unfairly Maligned, Worst Of All

Tagged as 1970s, 1990s, 2000s, 2005, Bling Bling, Bumfights, Charlotte Gainsbourg, Chloe Sevigny, Divine, Dr. Phil, Ewen Bremner, Gummo, Happy Campers, Harmony Korine, Indecline, John Waters, Keanu Reeves, Lars Von Trier, Las Vegas, movies, Nicolas Winding Refn, Ninth Cloud, pre 9/11, Sixtoo, underground, Willem Dafoe, YouTube

12/22/2016 · 3:26 pm

Unfairly Maligned: Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

For your benefit, I will begin this article with a warning: 18 seconds of this movie consist of Shia LeBeouf swinging from vines with CGI monkeys. I know 18 seconds doesn’t seem like a long time, but apparently it’s an eternity for some people. It all depends on your perspective, or lack thereof.

The sequence is so brief, it was hard to screencap.

In 2008, Harrison Ford returned to the screen as globe-trotting archaeologist Henry “Indiana” Jones, Junior after a 19-year absence. I myself have been (to be kind) fanatical about Indy since Raiders of the Lost Ark in 1981, so before I saw Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, I knew several things.

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Filed under Bad Influences, Movies You Missed, Nostalgic Obsessions, Saturday Movie Matinee, Unfairly Maligned

Tagged as 1957, 1980s, 1981, 1984, 1989, 2008, Cate Blanchett, Denholm Elliott, Elvis Presley, George Lucas, Harrison Ford, Indiana Jones, Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom, Jim Broadbent, John's Arm: Armageddon, Karen Allen, movies, Mystery Science Theater 3000, New Jersey, Ray Winstone, Shia LeBeouf, South Park, Star Wars, Steven Spielberg, The Empire Strikes Back

11/13/2016 · 12:20 am

Gridbug Chasers

In the 1982 science-fiction fantasy TRON, there comes a moment inside the computer world where the protagonists are imperiled by “gridbugs”.

Clearly a threat.

The danger is underlined by dialogue spoken by Cindy Morgan, as the shapely input/output program Yori:

“This isn’t going to be easy. If those gridbugs get us, we’ve had it.”

The gridbugs in question get a ten-second interlude, complete with a unique and rather corny soundtrack cue, and then go on to never affect anything or even be mentioned in passing again. Continue reading →

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Filed under Animation Analysis, Don't Know Don't Care, Faint Signals, Idiot's Delight, Movies You Missed, Nostalgic Obsessions, Robot Toy Fetish, Saturday Movie Matinee, Unfairly Maligned, Worst Of All

Tagged as 1978, 1982, Brad Dourif, Breakfast At Tiffany's, Cindy Morgan, corporate crap, Disney, Flannery O'Connor, Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, John Huston, Michael Bay, Ministry, movies, Shia LaBeouf, Superman, Transformers, Tron, Wise Blood

10/03/2016 · 3:04 pm

Brian Froud’s World of the Dark Crystal

When crafting a fictional universe, where does one begin? The introductory story, the characters, or the world itself?

From the back cover

Today, the general process involves cribbing from whatever made the most money previously, and changing just enough to keep from getting called a plagiarist. Actually, that’s not completely true; your average latter-day Hollywood mogul couldn’t care less about charges of appropriation. Cash comes first, imagination and progress later.

This was not the way it used to be. Continue reading →

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Filed under Faint Signals, Movies You Missed, Nostalgic Obsessions, Saturday Movie Matinee, Unfairly Maligned

Tagged as 1982, 2001: A Space Odyssey, Alfred A. Knopf, Apocalypto, backmasking, books, Brian Froud, Disney, fantasy, J.J. Llewellyn, J.W. Rinzler, Jane Roberts, Jim Henson, Lord of the Rings, Muppets, New Age philosophy, Panzer Dragoon, Revenge of the Sith, Seth material, Stanley Kubrick, Star Wars, The Dark Crystal, The Phantom Menace, The Wizard of Oz, Transformers, Trisha Biggar, Watership Down

08/21/2016 · 4:58 pm

Animation Analysis: Heavy Metal

When analyzing or criticizing animated feature films, it’s important to keep three factors in mind:

The talent
The resources
The date of production and release

Production designer: the late great Michael Gross, who gave you National Lampoon Comics and the Ghostbusters logo (for a movie Ivan Reitman directed that you might have heard of).

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