For some unfathomable reason, this website has survived for ten whole years. Were I to hazard a guess as to why, I’d say it’s because no one reads anything I write. I have no clout nor cachet that can be destroyed by “cancelling” me, which, in truth, is something of an advantage.
See, it’s like this. If I was worth anything at all as a content creator, some seething fatherless imbecile born after the year 2000 would make me part of their daily outrage addiction and virtually-dogpile me with all their little anus-eating, sexually stunted online acquaintances. They/them would make post after post detailing all the violence, torture, and sexual assault to which I must be subjected, describing vile practices that, were I to respond in kind, would earn me another lifetime ban from some fed-infested corpo-cuckold social media cesspool.
Why wouldn’t they? After all, I’m part of the most openly despised demographic, the Hated White Male, and to make matters worse, for every waking (technically, sleeping too) hour of my pre- and post-adult life, I’ve thought about natural-born vaginas and woman-boobs at least sixty times. Recently I spent a whole week fantasizing about savagely fornicating the final girl from Terrifier 2. Seriously, I would crawl into a bed with that woman and shackle myself to the headboard forever. Look her up, her name is Lauren Lavera. You can use “safe search”, pictures of her face alone are as fist-bitingly gorgeous as her unbelievably attractive stomach and thighs. I would take the first opportunity to grab her around the waist and run off with her like a soccer trophy. If I got killed doing so, fuck it. Surely you looked her up, you’ve seen what the woman looks like. She even wears a “booger ring” in some photos, which you know I consider abhorrent, and I couldn’t care less.
You looked her up, right? I’m not gonna post a picture or a link, you do the work for once in your life. It’s worth it, unless you’re one of these spiteful deviants born after 2000 who acts like a beautiful woman is a hate crime. If by chance you are; goddamn, I fucking HATE you.
If you’re anti-natal, or if you believe “abortion = healthcare”, I fucking hate you. If you have a sign on your lawn that says “REGULATE GUNS NOT WOMEN”, I hope your house burns down, and that everyone in it is sexually assaulted as they scramble to escape the blaze. If part of the sign reads “LOVE IS LOVE” or “SCIENCE IS REAL”, I hope your loved ones are all simultaneously sodomized by a dozen diseased inmates of a Chechen prison. If your yard has a portrait of gap-toothed fraudster Stacey Abrams, I hope your children are blinded with scalding acid.
I’ve wasted my entire life trying to create work that appeals to people who are now eagerly self-brainwashed into supporting Kamala Harris, the grinning cum-spittoon of Montel Williams and former San Francisco mayor Willie Brown, a woman who can neither debate, offer an intelligent thought, or do anything but cackle stupidly and pretend to be black. People who, in the face of all evidence otherwise, convince themselves that’s the right thing to do. Adults (ostensibly), who vote out of pure spite, like snot-nosed toddlers.
Because of those insufferable and shortsighted people, read this real carefully, I would leap over my dead grandmother’s disinterred corpse to vote for Donald Trump. I have decided to fight fire with immolation. If that disappoints you, it makes my day; hell, it makes my month. If it offends you, I just came in my pants. If it makes you cut ties with me and never speak to me again, I stop stop STOP, I can only CUM SO MUCH– –
[SIDEBAR: Hey South Park fanatics, how does it feel knowing that Trey Parker, the co-creator of a show you’ve worshiped for over two decades, wishes that he could erase the first four seasons? How does it feel knowing that something that resonated with you on a deep personal level is now labelled “problematic” by people younger, richer, and less educated than you? Did it make you quit using little custom bug-eyed South Park characters as social media avatars? Did it make you feel shameful and betrayed, or did you just resort to the 2020’s custom of sticking your fingers in your ears and going la la la can’t hear you? Are you cool with being a legitimate racist in the eyes of the show’s producers, because you once laughed at a kid named Token (now Tolkien, TEE HEE HEE) Black? Did the thought ever occur to you that maybe a show that’s featured people shitting from their mouths, anal rape of both adults and children, a gerbil exploring the colon of a “leather daddy”, and an unconscious eight-year-old girl having implants literally punched into her gashed-open, gore-splashing chest might be something to avoid, because the creators will most likely reveal themselves as truly sick perverts in the future? These are all rhetorical questions, I have no interest in the opinions of viewers who still defend that shit. They’re in their own hell.]
Okay, they’re gone now, right? No? [sigh] Hold on a tic.
There are only male and female genders. It’s based upon XX (female) or XY (male) chromosomes. A “woman” is an adult female human. Boys cannot menstruate, do not have a uterus, and absolutely cannot give birth. Anyone who supports transgendered athletes in women’s sports is a misogynist who gets their jollies seeing women beaten and/or humiliated. “Identifying” as a gender opposite your own is a flagrant sign of untreated mental illness. Every single word you’ve just read was 100% normal until around 10 years ago, when certain “special interest groups” began enacting legitimate terrorism tactics upon the media and the world.
Goddamn it, they’re still here, aren’t they?
Okay.
Kamala Harris’s VP pick has committed stolen valor, and had tampon machines put in a high school’s boy’s bathroom because he’s so fucking retarded he thinks boys have periods. His wife liked to open the windows during the riots in Minnesota so she could smell the small businesses burning down. Despite the clear evidence that these are fetid ghouls that should never see the outside of a padded cell, you have friends and acquaintances that actually believe they belong in high office. Figure THAT shit out.
Did you know that there are grown men in America who are terrified of guns? Where I come from they call that a “pussy”. Ever heard of Kennesaw, Georgia? They make you own a gun when you move there. Every resident is armed. Would you like to take a guess what their crime rate is like? It’s literally about 500 times safer than whatever West Coast shithole these nu-male gun-fearers hail from. You might get plugged trying to use a Kennesaw street as a toilet, however, so heads up.
Oh, and hey- how’s that “no guns” thing working out for Great Britain? Are they a Muslim caliphate yet? I’d have more information, but the loathsome shit-eating faggots that pass for “law enforcement” in that region are busy sending any native-born English to prison for daring to mention the rape gangs slaughtering their children. The murderers are saddled with an unconscionable sentence servicing the community they’ve destroyed, which any fool can tell you is so much nastier than bleeding out in a dark cell because you remarked online that the violent rape and massacre of innocent schoolgirls was unacceptable.
Despite all this, you no doubt have friends and/or family who believe that Islam is totes compatible with Western civilization. It’s a safe bet they have two cars and a comfy house that’s worth more than you’ll ever make in your life. They live in a neighborhood that’s over 80% white, they’ve never been within a mile of a real Muslim, and they festoon their front yard with rainbow signs sporting slogans like “NO HUMAN IS ILLEGAL”. That’s how you know they’re better than you and you should do as they say. Vote blue no matter who, take it up the ass, accept that white people are filthy guilt-riddled swine who deserve extinction, all that cool stuff.
France and the UK, they’re gettin’ along just great with the whole “enforced diversity” thing, right? Never a moment’s thought as to who enforces it, and what their endgame might be. Just lie down and die, then you won’t have to worry about it anymore. Let the screaming ones with machetes inherit and annihilate everything your family achieved.
Hey how about FUCK YOU.
You’re still here, which means you either agree with me, or you’re a mature enough adult to hear an opinion different than your own without lowering yourself to invective or violence. People like me vastly outnumber the people who aren’t like me. People like me are well past the point of taking up arms and preparing to kill. If I have to die killing those who threaten my God-given rights, so be it. I want to kill people. Every cartoon, article and video I’ve ever created was done so as an alternative to killing people whom I deem unsuitable for society. I’ve been fantasizing about killing people for longer than I’ve fantasized about fucking women. I can’t bench press jack shit, but I’m strong enough to crush someone’s eyeballs into their brain with my thumbs if I’m angry. I’d even relish it.
Taking away my means of creatively expressing myself, or punishing me for something I said or drew, would literally make me the most dangerous person alive. If anyone out there scoffed at my use of the words “God-given rights”; hey dumbfuck, that’s so no human being can take them away. It’s a good thing. It means you’re allowed to say men can be women, or marry a concrete bridge, or worship a photo of somebody’s anus. In America, it means you can do or say just about anything conceivable, as long as it isn’t harmful to minors, and even that is debated by some fucked-up rapacious queers.
It means that the biggest YouTuber ever can be an active child molester, while employing a retinue of egregious, obvious pedophiles, and if they buy enough viewers, corporate lawyers will strive to remove them from the National Sex Offender Registry, while paying off any pesky “victims” who persist in living. It means that we have to endure legitimate organizations devoted to the practice of fucking little boys, rather than torching their meeting places and hastily removing the members of every… member. It means that our cities host lavish parades where adult men in hardcore fetish gear wave their balls in children’s faces while their mothers cheer them on. It means we have college professors who teach students to destroy public property and betray their parents for mendacious political reasons.
It means we have places in California where you can shit in the street, because it’s easier to just let you behave like an animal than deal with you like a human being. That’s how most of our world operates now.
It means I can say all the shit I’ve said here, and the worst you can do is disagree with me and move on with your life. Because if you come at me in public I’ll put you down like a rabid dog, and whatever becomes of me afterward, you will be dead. I don’t have the patience for this brainwashed, lockstep bullshit anymore. My best years are far behind me. The harder I am pushed, the harder I will push back. And all these motherfuckers know how to do is push.
Because I consider you a friend (those of you who’ve made it this far), I’m calmly urging you to remove politics from your life if you are unable to think for yourself. If you require media people to tell you you’re on “the right side of history”, stay home and don’t vote this November. If you want to be a good person, don’t put any goddamn campaign signs or slogans on your lawn. Good people don’t condescend to their neighbors, judge them, or intentionally divide them. Good people don’t act like their political affiliation makes them better than everyone else. Good people don’t alienate onlookers by flying coded flags that celebrate anal sex and pedophilia.
Good people don’t vote for an unworthy candidate out of spite and an unquenchable desire for social clout. Good people lead their lives without constantly screaming for attention and playing victim. Good people don’t fuck with someone they don’t really know, like myself, to the point where I’m going to church praying against single-handedly starting the next civil war. Because I’m a good person. I don’t actually want to kill anyone dumb enough to believe Kamala Harris should be president, or that the assassination attempt on Trump should’ve been successful. I’m a good person, which means I try to be sympathetic towards supporters of Joe Biden, the most incompetent, perverted, unqualified, fraudulent commander-in-chief in the history of the United States, who couldn’t even finish his fake term without wandering off. Supporters like “The Rock”, who not only will never be taken seriously again in his lifetime, but whose $11M marketing deal with the US Army resulted in not one single new recruit. It actually had a negative impact on enlistment.
It’s true, look it up. I’m not linking it just so you can disparage whichever source I cite. Use Google, which has officially been declared a monopoly by a federal district court that apparently takes forever to work out things literally everyone knows. Google’s motto used to be “don’t be evil”, isn’t that cute? Wonder whatever happened with that?
Who knows. All I’ve ever wanted was to make movies and draw comics. Also to go to bed with a woman on occasion, rather than fuck my hand for the four millionth time. If my very existence is offensive to you, not to worry, in 10 to 20 years it won’t be an issue. You’re an insufferable fuckhead, though. I hope you choke to death on the engorged penis of a grizzly bear with oozing chlamydia sores and a bright red MAGA hat.
Happy 10th anniversary, imaginary person who reads this site. We’ve come a long way, baby. It’s gonna get worse before it gets worse.
Vote Trump. ‘Cause fuck ’em. That’s why.
Because even if you hate Trump, if you support Kamala Harris, that tells me you’re cool with the way America has been run into the ground over the past four years, you’re cool with how I and my friends have been suffering, and most importantly, it tells me you’d lie to me as easily as you lie to yourself, and that I can never trust you for as long as I live.
I’m just being truthful with you. I’m the one with a conscience.
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