Hate Proof: Midi Maxi & Efti’s “Bad Bad Boys”

You used to hear a lot about refugees on the news. Typically, refugees are not assimilated to the host culture, which allows politicians with agendas to exploit them. There is literally no one to defend or look out for them. They have taken refuge from their country of origin, often because of a dictatorship or carpet-bombing.

The reason of exodus is irrelevant. Media spotlights refugees because of their skin color.

Midi, Maxi & Efti was a Swedish pop group. 

In 1976, the twin sisters Midi and Maxi Berhanu were born in Ethiopia, and Freweyni “Efti” Teclehaimanot was born in a migrant camp in Eritrea. All three arrived in Sweden in 1985, and met in the Stockholm suburb of Akalla. They released their self-titled album in 1991.

Hence, the fleeting glimpses of the trio in their videos; they weren’t really legal age. This is news to me. I now have a new shame to nurse in the dead of night. It’s not my fault. Minors are not supposed to be that hot.

Does that look like three teeny-boppers to you? To me, they look like roughly 44% of the sexual fantasies I’ve had since 1990. Efti’s resemblance to the twins is a total coincidence. A beautiful, incontrovertibly arousing coincidence. Cold shower time.

If you have any doubt that these women are in the 9-10 range, it should be erased by their biggest hit, “Bad Bad Boys”. I have never heard a better example of what I like to refer to as “hot girl noise”.

Their voices are pancake-flat. The backbeat is infested with tinny synth. It’s not a good song, even by 1990 standards.

It’s a great song. 

All the corny elements combine to form a perfect whole. You can play this song “ironically”, and it’ll win you over by the chorus. Just try and hate this song. You will only feel like a bitter asshole.

Aside from their stunning good looks, the girls only contributed lyrics. The heavy lifting for their debut album was actually handled by  Alexander Bard, Anders Wollbeck and Per Adebratt, from Army of Lovers. Swedes under the names of E-Type and Stakka Bo assisted, and “styling” was the work of Jean-Pierre Barda and Camilla Thulin. That’s who provided the African elements. Swedes.

After the opening chorus, Efti chimes in with this passage:

Hi it’s me, if you know what I mean
I said it’s me, my name is Efti and I want you to see
That positive people live longer
Don’t be negative (negative)
Just be positive (positive)

For a hot girl, that is pretty deep shit. It’s like their Desiderata.

Another truthism appears following the next chorus (I’m not sure who specifically sings it):

You keep on asking me
Why can’t we be together
I thought we had forever
I thought we love each other
Some other day strong, now I feel alone
I’ll know some way and I’ll know someday

Do you know who Adriana Lima is? Probably one of the finest Victoria’s Secret models ever born? All I can think of is her flouncing around on silk sheets, in a petulant frenzy, hair mussed, reciting those lines without a trace of self-awareness. Broken English from a cab driver is a nuisance. From beautiful girls, it’s an asset.

Before the final chorus, which is almost identical to the preceding ones, we receive a final nugget of wisdom from these three young women.

I like it like it is
And I like it like it was
But I’m not so sure anymore, anymore

I don’t even know what that means. It doesn’t matter. Music was pretty goddamn bad in the early 90s. This makes it much easier to appreciate Midi, Maxi and Efti.

Yeah; uh-huh.