Name Your Rock Band

A long, long time ago, on a website far away, there was a thing that pulled in page-views like a drunken champion. It was about 50% my creation. The rest was appropriately and totally ripped off.

It was called “Name Your Rock Band”.

For the first handful of years of the 21st century, it was the most popular page on my site, Mike The Pod. In truth, it goes back even farther than that.

In the mid-1980s, I was an awkward high school student for the most part, and before drama class improved my ego, I made many stabs at popularity through humor. This was how I began drawing serial comic strips, and passing them around secretly in class. As a shy twerp, my material was rather limited, and so I learned to appropriate from a trusted source. National Lampoon. 

Nothing equal to classic National Lampoon exists today. Media bias is so prevalent, it’s impossible to dish out ridicule multilaterally. The most deserving targets exempt themselves with money or lawyers. One of the greatest pieces of satire NL ever published was a scathing tear-down of every ethnic group on our planet, including the Arabs, and it was funnier than shit. Brutal comedy, no holds barred. That was the old Lampoon. 

Miraculously, I could get it at the grocery store. I mean, it was just another magazine. Kids didn’t buy it because it wasn’t interesting to them. Shoot, I’d typically spend my coins on the latest issue of CRAZY. But NL often had pictures of naked women, so I’d grab one whenever I could. Usually at the corner sweet shop, with the Indian guy who couldn’t care less what you bought.

Anyway, one of the issues I had was all about the popular music of the day, with broad swipes at Madonna, Cyndi Lauper, and of course, Michael Jackson. This was Purple Rain-era, so obviously there were jokes about Prince being a gigantic queer. I have no clue why anyone would think Prince was gay, but again, this was a magazine staffed with Harvard dudes. They used to lay it on pretty thick with the “Negro talk”, too. Whut kin ah say, boss?

The “Music Issue” had a page that was one big list. If I recall correctly, it was written by The Fugs. That’s a pretty big deal, but like I said, National Lampoon was the standard for humor magazines. They published a lot of material that still holds up today, if you keep it away from constantly-offended persons.

I cherry-picked the best band names, and wrote them down by hand in a small blank book I had. I love blank hardcover books, and I always have several on hand. At school, I would add whatever band names popped into my head, and pass it around class to make the other kids laugh. I only got caught once, by Mr. Brady, the most awesome substitute teacher ever and the Jersey progenitor of Kenny Powers from Eastbound & Down.

I tried not to panic as he flipped through my homemade book. He reacted at first with confusion, then after a moment chuckled, and handed it back to me.

He probably read one of the Fug ones, but it was still a big moment.

Sometime around the turn of the century, I transcribed the book into code for the Mike The Pod website. Not all of it, but enough to make me go half blind doing it. In 2017, I can’t make it function on a regular browser window. It used to bring in mad traffic. There are many, many outdated and shopworn pop-culture references, plus numerous obscure callbacks. Occasionally I was contacted by bands that used one of the names. They’ve pretty much all broken up by now.

You can still push the buttons, they just don’t do anything.

 

Here’s some broken chunks of code that reveal the band names. Pushing a letter would reveal a randomly-picked title. There were sixty to each button (some were copy-and-pasted.)

ar[0] = “FIVE GO MAD ON MESCALINE”
ar[1] = “THE HOMESICK ABORTIONS”
ar[2] = “MORONOCRACY”
ar[3] = “NADER’S HALO”
ar[4] = “ARMIN’S FROZEN PEAS”
ar[5] = “ROBSTER CRAWS”
ar[6] = “CON EDISON ARTISTS”
ar[7] = “BEIGE TO THE DEATH”
ar[8] = “DEREVAUN SERAUN”
ar[9] = “CAUGHT WHACKING OFF”
ar[10] = “DOT COM THIS, FUCKER”
ar[11] = “FIVE GO MAD ON MESCALINE”
ar[12] = “DOGYAWN”
ar[13] = “ET TU GUIDO?”
ar[14] = “DAMN AND SAVE”
ar[15] = “FONDLED HENRY”
ar[16] = “BENEVOLENT APE FROTH”
ar[17] = “DE PLANE! DE PLANE!”
ar[18] = “FATTY PUKES AGAIN”
ar[19] = “BOOT TO THE SKULL”
ar[20] = “DON’T EAT OR SHAVE”
ar[21] = “FUN AND PROFIT”
ar[22] = “BRYANT GUMBEL, CRUSHED”
ar[23] = “GARGLE FOR STAMINA”
ar[24] = “HOLY SHIT, ZSA ZSA!”
ar[25] = “BO SHUDAH”
ar[26] = “GIRL GROUPS BLOW”
ar[27] = “BOLSHEVIK POP-TARTS”
ar[28] = “GOT YOUR NOSE”
ar[29] = “CUBAN B!”
ar[30] = “LACK OF FLASHBACKS”
ar[31] = “I HAVE A SMALL DICK & MY WIFE CHEATS ON ME”
ar[32] = “CAPTAINS OF APATHY”
ar[33] = “LATE TO CHURCH”
ar[34] = “LEAST OF ALL WILMA”
ar[35] = “HOMEOWNER BONER”
ar[36] = “CHINESE FIRE DRILL”
ar[37] = “BUT MOM, THEY SMELL!”
ar[38] = “LATENT VAGINA”
ar[39] = “OWESIES”
ar[40] = “I’M PINK THEREFORE I’M SPAM”
ar[41] = “CANDID VASECTOMY”
ar[42] = “INHUMAN LEAGUE”
ar[43] = “FUTURE SECRET DUNG WARS”
ar[44] = “CENSORED”
ar[45] = “FREE DON AMECHE”
ar[46] = “DON’T EAT THE YELLOW SNOW”
ar[47] = “CHIHUAHUA IN A TEACUP”
ar[48] = “RENT-A-BAND”
ar[49] = “CLITORICAL QUESTION”
ar[50] = “EATERS OF YTTERBIUM”
ar[51] = “CUMMERBAND”
ar[52] = “DANGER’S UGLY HEAD”
ar[53] = “FYGHTYN’ LYINZ”
ar[54] = “COSBY ME NOT”
ar[55] = “GUILELESS PLACENTA”
ar[56] = “HITLER ON HELIUM”
ar[57] = “I WON’T KISS ANYMORE RECTUMS, AND THAT’S FINAL”
ar[58] = “DAMN WE’RE GOOD”
ar[59] = “GONK DROID SOUP”
ar[60] = “EVIAN NAIVE”

ar[0] = “DOORKNOB McNASTY”
ar[1] = “PROPER T”
ar[2] = “THE SUCKING CHEST WOUNDS”
ar[3] = “DA KOMPULSIV MASTA BATA”
ar[4] = “DAVID DUKE WITH A MOONROCK UP HIS ASS”
ar[5] = “FRIGID BADHEAD”
ar[6] = “SKANKY DOODLE”
ar[7] = “ELLA FINO”
ar[8] = “FLINCH M.O.B.B.”
ar[9] = “TAMPAX RAVINE”
ar[10] = “GERBIL SEDUSAH”
ar[11] = “HANGING CHAD”
ar[12] = “THE DRUG-ADDLED RAVERS”
ar[13] = “RECLINUS”
ar[14] = “TROPHY WIFE”
ar[15] = “2×4”
ar[16] = “BREAKFAST WITH THE ITCHY STRANGER”
ar[17] = “GURKHA MAZURKA”
ar[18] = “THE DEADLY FOOD-CLOGGED BEARD”
ar[19] = “THE IRRITANTS”
ar[20] = “THE CHATROOM CASANOVAS”
ar[21] = “IT FITS!”
ar[22] = “TIGER PENIS”
ar[23] = “CRACK FOR THE YOUNG’UNS”
ar[24] = “JESUS ON TUESDAY”
ar[25] = “OLD MAN SMELL”
ar[26] = “THE GIVE-A-SHITS”
ar[27] = “THE DON’T-GIVE-A-SHITS”
ar[28] = “GIMME THEM SHOES”
ar[29] = “SYPHILIS? YOU BET!”
ar[30] = “MY DINNER WITH GARGAMEL”
ar[31] = “IT’S PLASTER!”
ar[32] = “BUNCHED UNDIES”
ar[33] = “BACON! BACON! BACON!”
ar[34] = “POOP PATROL”
ar[35] = “THE DONNY OSMOND ASPHYXIATION BONANZA”
ar[36] = “WAMPA DUNG”
ar[37] = “WORM COLONY BULB”
ar[38] = “EL KABONG”
ar[39] = “SEETHING BOIL-LIKE THING”
ar[40] = “THE SAC OF WILLIS”
ar[41] = “SAVAGE ON THE ARTERIES”
ar[42] = ” W.E.F.S. (WE ENJOY FISTING SOMETIMES)”
ar[43] = “NEAPOLITAN ROADKILL”
ar[44] = “TED KOPPEL’S A COD”
ar[45] = “MAD MAN MUNT”
ar[46] = “DON’T FUCK WITH THE JESUS”
ar[47] = “SHATNER! SHATNER! SHATNER!”
ar[48] = “WHIP SCABS”
ar[49] = “WHAT’S EATING HIM?”
ar[50] = “THE POOP-FLINGERS”
ar[51] = “CHUNK”
ar[52] = “HERM AFRODITE”
ar[53] = “EVER SO FOUL”
ar[54] = “SQUANTO”
ar[55] = “ELF MANURE”
ar[56] = “NOLO CONTENDRE”
ar[57] = “MUSHROOMS N MEMBRANES”
ar[58] = “ZONOLITE JOHNSON”
ar[59] = “THE TRUST-FUND BABIES”
ar[60] = “THE FAIRWEATHER FRIENDS”

ar[0] = “WE’RE EXTREMELY TALENTED”
ar[1] = “MUDBALL PLANET”
ar[2] = “AMERICAN STALKER”
ar[3] = “MURDEROUS ANTICS”
ar[4] = “BREAKFAST SERIAL”
ar[5] = “THE CORK TURDS”
ar[6] = “THE JALAPENO PAUPERS”
ar[7] = “THE COATHANGER KID”
ar[8] = “ABORTIONS FOR ALL”
ar[9] = “NYMPHOMERCIAL”
ar[10] = “STIGMATRON”
ar[11] = “CHRISTPEZ”
ar[12] = “STINKY SHORTS”
ar[13] = “CATANDMYCIN”
ar[14] = “THAT SUCKS A DRIPPY”
ar[15] = “THE BRIDES OF SPANKENSTEIN”
ar[16] = “GOD ONLY KNOWS”
ar[17] = “BOILING WATER KILLS GERMS”
ar[18] = “RETURN TO MANAGUA”
ar[19] = “THE SACAJAWEA DOLLARS”
ar[20] = “WHAT’S NEW IN BALTIMORE”
ar[21] = “FIRE ISLAND HERE WE COME”
ar[22] = “TAKE YOUR TEETH OUT”
ar[23] = “ASSBLASTER 3000”
ar[24] = “THE HULA-HOOLIGANS”
ar[25] = “THE BOOGER-EATIN’ MORONS”
ar[26] = “SHIZNIT ON MY TIZNIT”
ar[27] = “THE INDIANAPOLIS 500”
ar[28] = “EPISSANY”
ar[29] = “SHUT YOUR CHEESE-DUCT”
ar[30] = “MUMMY PENIS”
ar[31] = “VAMPIRE SPORTSCASTER”
ar[32] = “FUNXION”
ar[33] = “RACHO THE MANDY MAN”
ar[34] = “PENIS EN REGALIA”
ar[35] = “BURNING SKULL”
ar[36] = “PIE FOR CRYBABY”
ar[37] = “NOD LIKE YOU KNOW”
ar[38] = “BLOOD FIST”
ar[39] = “THE NARCOTICS”
ar[40] = “THE SAC OF ARNOLD”
ar[41] = “CANDY CORN INSERTED ANALLY”
ar[42] = “DONKEY PUNCH”
ar[43] = “DIRTY SANCHEZ”
ar[44] = “BONUS ROUND”
ar[45] = “THE ONUS IS ON ME”
ar[46] = “ANUS ONUS”
ar[47] = “DON’T DRINK PEE”
ar[48] = “SEARING PAIN”
ar[49] = “ADVENT OF ASS”
ar[50] = “THE PISS-POOR FIVE”
ar[51] = “KOKTEEZ”
ar[52] = “THE RICE BOYZ”
ar[53] = “THE DUTCH OVENS”
ar[54] = “CHILI CON CRAPP”
ar[55] = “VOMIT, AND LOTS OF IT”
ar[56] = “SOME DUMB BASTARDS”
ar[57] = “WISH YOU WERE DEAD”
ar[58] = “GUI LA TESTA”
ar[59] = “COCK-BLOCK”
ar[60] = “MUTT-LEVEL GENETICS”

ar[0] = “THE MIGHTY ORBOTS”
ar[1] = “THE SMALL INTESTINES”
ar[2] = “THE STEROID POPPIN’ FATTIES”
ar[3] = “SCHEISSKOPF”
ar[4] = “THICK-NECKED GUNTER”
ar[5] = “PRIMAL CREAM”
ar[6] = “LOST AND FOUND”
ar[7] = “PEERLESS”
ar[8] = “NO REFILL”
ar[9] = “THE DROPPINGS”
ar[10] = “BOB’S BITCHTITS”
ar[11] = “SHANKAR SORE”
ar[12] = “TURD PATE”
ar[13] = “BALDER THAN YOU”
ar[14] = “THE MAD MAN MUNTS”
ar[15] = “SO MUCH FOR THAT”
ar[16] = “COD IS DEAD”
ar[17] = “RACK OPINION”
ar[18] = “BIZARRO!”
ar[19] = “SHAKE ZULA”
ar[20] = “OLD AND IN THE WAY”
ar[21] = “2 FATT 2 FUKK?”
ar[22] = “THE EVERLASTING GOBSTOPPERS”
ar[23] = “JOSHUA HYBRID”
ar[24] = “MEPHITIC AND OOZING”
ar[25] = “JEB’S BEARD”
ar[26] = “SILLIUS SODDUS”
ar[27] = “BIGGUS DICKUS”
ar[28] = “FAT LADY DONE SANG”
ar[29] = “SHAR PEI ENEMA”
ar[30] = “TESTICULOID”
ar[31] = “THE ANGRY DRAGON”
ar[32] = “ARABIAN GOGGLES”
ar[33] = “BEEF CURTAINS”
ar[34] = “THE CANINE SPECIAL”
ar[35] = “THE CANINE MUTINY”
ar[36] = “THE CLEVELAND STEAMERS”
ar[37] = “THE COMPTON GANGBANG”
ar[38] = “THE COUCH BOMBERS”
ar[39] = “THE DAISY CHAINS”
ar[40] = “THE SAC OF MR. DRUMMOND”
ar[41] = “THE DIRTY SWIRLIES”
ar[42] = “DONKEY PUNCH”
ar[43] = “DIRTY SANCHEZ”
ar[44] = “THE DUTCH OVENS”
ar[45] = “THE FLAMING AMAZONS”
ar[46] = “THE FLAMING CAMELS”
ar[47] = “THE FLYING DUTCHMEN”
ar[48] = “THE FOUNTAIN OF YOU”
ar[49] = “HOTDOG IN A HALLWAY”
ar[50] = “KENNEBUNKPORT SURPRISE”
ar[51] = “THE MONROE TRANSFER”
ar[52] = “THE MUSHY BISCUIT”
ar[53] = “NEW JERSEY MEAT-HOOK”
ar[54] = “PASADENA MUDSLIDE”
ar[55] = “PEARL NECKLACE”
ar[56] = “THE V-CHIPS”
ar[57] = “HANGING CHAD”
ar[58] = “PREGNANT CHAD”
ar[59] = “THE PURPLE MUSHROOMS”
ar[60] = “REAR ADMIRAL”

ar[0] = “THE RED WINGS”
ar[1] = “THEY LIVE”
ar[2] = “SUCK THIS”
ar[3] = “HELLBOW MACARONI”
ar[4] = “THE HEFTY/WIMPY CONUNDRUM”
ar[5] = “THE ROSE CREEPERS”
ar[6] = “THE RUSTY TROMBONES”
ar[7] = “THE SCREWNICORNS”
ar[8] = “THE SNERD NURGLERS”
ar[9] = “SUD-N-FUD”
ar[10] = “THE THREE-EYED TURTLES”
ar[11] = “VERY LOW SODIUM”
ar[12] = “WESTSIDE GLAZE”
ar[13] = “EASTSIDE GLAZE”
ar[14] = “HOLIDAY HALITOSIS”
ar[15] = “CAPTAIN STERNN”
ar[16] = “ARMPIT BROWNIE”
ar[17] = “COLD AND HURTY”
ar[18] = “THE NITRO-BURNING FUNNY CARS”
ar[19] = “IT’S A TRAP”
ar[20] = “DOMO ARIGATO”
ar[21] = “THE BLEEDERS”
ar[22] = “IG-88”
ar[23] = “BANTHA FODDER”
ar[24] = “HOW DARE YOU”
ar[25] = “STARSCREAM’S CORONATION”
ar[26] = “COUNT EGGULA”
ar[27] = “SCREAM BLACULA SCREAM”
ar[28] = “WHITE TRASH DISPOSAL CO.”
ar[29] = “DOONMOG”
ar[30] = “THE GELFLINGS”
ar[31] = “THE GELFLINGERS”
ar[32] = “MILTON’S STAPLER”
ar[33] = “O-FACE”
ar[34] = “THERE AND BLACK AGAIN”
ar[35] = “THE THREE AMIGOS”
ar[36] = “HELEN HUNTED”
ar[37] = “URINE TROUBLE NOW”
ar[38] = “MANFRED MANSION”
ar[39] = “SPAP OOP”
ar[40] = “PURDY SPACKLE”
ar[41] = “THE LARRY KROGER EXPERIENCE”
ar[42] = “DAMMIT OTTER’S GODDAMN JUG-BAND”
ar[43] = “WHAT’S ALL THIS THEN”
ar[44] = “YOG SOTHOTH SUNDAE”
ar[45] = “BOOT TO THE NUTZ”
ar[46] = “KUP”
ar[47] = “OMEGA SUPREME”
ar[48] = “THE BIONIC SIX”
ar[49] = “AD NAUSEUM”
ar[50] = “AD INFINITUM”
ar[51] = “HOBOT”
ar[52] = “CHALLENGE OF THE GOBOTS”
ar[53] = “ROBOTRON 2084”
ar[54] = “THE CREAMED EELS”
ar[55] = “CORN NOG”
ar[56] = “HEATHER HATES CORN NUTS”
ar[57] = “MALK”
ar[58] = “POOR WIGGUM”
ar[59] = “EX VOTO”
ar[60] = “HELP ME JEBUS”

ar[0] = “THE FARTY NUTS”
ar[1] = “CHICKS WITH DICKS”
ar[2] = “COAGULUS”
ar[3] = “THE ADMIRAL ACKBARS”
ar[4] = “REAR ADMIRAL ACKBAR”
ar[5] = “TOVAH FELDSHUH AHOY”
ar[6] = “WE’RE IN DELAWARE”
ar[7] = “SAPPHO KNEW”
ar[8] = “THE SAPPHIC SIPHONS”
ar[9] = “SHUT UP ALREADY”
ar[10] = “TOO DAMN LOUD”
ar[11] = “PAULSEN FOR PRESIDENT”
ar[12] = “DESTINED FOR OPEN-MIC NIGHT”
ar[13] = “SEEK HELP”
ar[14] = “ENJOY SMACK”
ar[15] = “FIVE EIGHTEEN”
ar[16] = “A FOUR FORTY”
ar[17] = “BOB DOLE DOESN’T NEED THIS”
ar[18] = “FLATTOP JONES”
ar[19] = “ITCHY OLIVER”
ar[20] = “THE CAVE DWELLERS”
ar[21] = “TRUMPY AND THE POD PEOPLE”
ar[22] = “TOO MUCH FRUIT”
ar[23] = “WESTERN GRIP”
ar[24] = “BAD BAR MITZVAH”
ar[25] = “NEARSUCKER”
ar[26] = “CHONGLOAD”
ar[27] = “HELLA SUPER”
ar[28] = “BEULAH BALBRICKER”
ar[29] = “FOURTEEN MINUTES AND COUNTING”
ar[30] = “THE HANGERS-ON”
ar[31] = “THE NO-TALENTS”
ar[32] = “THE JUMPSTARTERS”
ar[33] = “TWIN TWIST”
ar[34] = “SCORPONOK”
ar[35] = “MRS. GARRETT LIVES”
ar[36] = “D-FENS”
ar[37] = “JIZZONES IN MY BIZZONES”
ar[38] = “BERMAN BERMAN AND SLOANE”
ar[39] = “GESSELANT DAY”
ar[40] = “NICE HAIR MR. MANN”
ar[41] = “MENDERCHUCK”
ar[42] = “SUPERCOOL”
ar[43] = “EMOTION LOTION”
ar[44] = “PLATYPUS AMANDA”
ar[45] = “STABBED BY OLIVER STONE ON MUSHROOMS”
ar[46] = “MOAT MENTALITY”
ar[47] = “DESPERATE LIVING”
ar[48] = “THE PINK FLAMINGOS”
ar[49] = “EDITH THE EGG LADY”
ar[50] = “QUEEN CARLOTTA”
ar[51] = “BOOTLEG BORON”
ar[52] = “THE DEVIL DOGS”
ar[53] = “THE HO-HOS”
ar[54] = “THE YODELS”
ar[55] = “THE HATE-FILLED TWINKIES”
ar[56] = “DURACLAM”
ar[57] = “THE RADICAL EDWARDS”
ar[58] = “CRIMSON TAMPONICA”
ar[59] = “OCULUS ORBUS”
ar[60] = “DEMONSTRATIVE”

ar[0] = “ELECTRIC BOOGALOO”
ar[1] = “STARCADE”
ar[2] = “IDIOTOCRACY”
ar[3] = “NEIGHBOR QUAGMIRE”
ar[4] = “BLESSED WITH TOURETTE’S”
ar[5] = “PRINCE VALIUM”
ar[6] = “RITALIN MAKES YOU NORMAL”
ar[7] = “BOYS ARE LIKE THAT”
ar[8] = “GRANNY UNPLUGGED”
ar[9] = “CHERRY CHAN”
ar[10] = “ALEXANDER THE GRAPE”
ar[11] = “TOFFEE-NOSED MALODOROUS PERVERTS”
ar[12] = “THE WHEELS ON THE BUS”
ar[13] = “CASTOR OYL”
ar[14] = “THE TRIFFIDS”
ar[15] = “ISTHMUS CRYPTICUS”
ar[16] = “POL POT BROWNIES”
ar[17] = “ALL YOUR BASE… WHATEVER”
ar[18] = “THE DIRT CLODS”
ar[19] = “THE CHUCK’N’BUCKS”
ar[20] = “PIECES OF ATE”
ar[21] = “SCADABADISK”
ar[22] = “THE WOLF BLITZERS”
ar[23] = “CRAP ON A CD-R”
ar[24] = “THE VANITY PRESSINGS”
ar[25] = “A TANGO WITH THE SS”
ar[26] = “DON’T STEP ON MY BOOTS”
ar[27] = “POOP SHIP HUMANA”
ar[28] = “THE CLEVELAND STEAMER BEANS”
ar[29] = “THE TRUNDLE ORBS”
ar[30] = “THE KEGEL-CIZER”
ar[31] = “THE KEGELS”
ar[32] = “NOT LENNY”
ar[33] = “MOUNT CRAPMORE”
ar[34] = “THE MOE SYZSLAK EXPERIENCE FEATURING HOMER”
ar[35] = “ME WANTEE”
ar[36] = “OLEORESIN CAPSICUM”
ar[37] = “THE PUSSILANIMOUS”
ar[38] = “THE BEATLESS”
ar[39] = “THE CHUPA CHUPS”
ar[40] = “TREACHEROUS TWEETY”
ar[41] = “THE BLUNT INSTRUMENTS”
ar[42] = “LONG LIVE HOBORG”
ar[43] = “DEPENDS”
ar[44] = “SOTTO VOCE MY ASS”
ar[45] = “GOD’S OWN DRUNKS”
ar[46] = “THE CHEVY CHASE SHOW”
ar[47] = “THE BUBOES”
ar[48] = “SPILT TO BILL”
ar[49] = “CLITTICALLY ACCLAIMED”
ar[50] = “THE IDAHOES”
ar[51] = “GOOBER GRAPE”
ar[52] = “TUNING IN TOKYO”
ar[53] = “FUNKLESS MURRAY”
ar[54] = “PLUNGER CRUST”
ar[55] = “THE JAGUAR’S EARLOBES”
ar[56] = “SMUT FOR MOMMA”
ar[57] = “FAT PLANET”
ar[58] = “WE’RE SO HIGH”
ar[59] = “EVILYMPICS”
ar[60] = “SEXPLOSIVO”

ar[0] = “PENCIL TEST”
ar[1] = “THE FRENCH CALL IT MERDE”
ar[2] = “B*A*S*H”
ar[3] = “SHUT UP LITTLE MAN”
ar[4] = “BORG-9”
ar[5] = “GAY BOB AND SY BORG”
ar[6] = “SHOES FOR ANDRE”
ar[7] = “WHO DOES BILLY CRYSTAL THINK HE IS ANYWAY”
ar[8] = “THE FATUOUS ASSUMPTIONS”
ar[9] = “ALPOPLEXY”
ar[10] = “THE JUGGS”
ar[11] = “LIU KANG WINS”
ar[12] = “WARRIOR IS ABOUT TO DIE”
ar[13] = “CLABBER GIRL”
ar[14] = “THE MALLWALKERS”
ar[15] = “COCKTAIL FRUIT”
ar[16] = “TRUMPY DUMPY”
ar[17] = “JOSE SERVO”
ar[18] = “SCROTEO-DO-DO”
ar[19] = “NUDE GIRLS NUDE”
ar[20] = “STRAGHT UP SHITE”
ar[21] = “THE FLAGGELANTS”
ar[22] = “FLATULANT FRENZY”
ar[23] = “GRANDPA TOSSES SALAD”
ar[24] = “YOU DON’T MAKE FRIENDS WITH SALAD”
ar[25] = “EXPLOSIVE DIARRHEA”
ar[26] = “I GET STABBY”
ar[27] = “SEINFELD SUCKS”
ar[28] = “WHAT WENT WRONG”
ar[29] = “THE PANTY RAIDS”
ar[30] = “GOLOBULUS”
ar[31] = “SEX FOR DUMMIES”
ar[32] = “KAMEHAMEHA”
ar[33] = “BAD TUTELAGE”
ar[34] = “PRETTY VACANT”
ar[35] = “IT’S A TRAP!”
ar[36] = “AMY AND JORDAN ARE DEAD”
ar[37] = “THE CRUNCHY URINAL CAKES”
ar[38] = “HATEFUL APPALOOSA”
ar[39] = “TONGUE ‘EM YOUNG”
ar[40] = “JACKO DANGLES BABY”
ar[41] = “LARGE MARGE”
ar[42] = “NOT ON YOUR LIFE”
ar[43] = “HIDE THE BONG”
ar[44] = “CHAKA TONGUES A SLEESTAK”
ar[45] = “THE ANTI-ELVIS”
ar[46] = “BRUNSKI!”
ar[47] = “DO NOT OVER-TIGHTEN NUTS”
ar[48] = “THE CHLAMYDIANS”
ar[49] = “UNCLE FESTER”
ar[50] = “BLING BLING EXPERTISE IN CRACK-SMOKING”
ar[51] = “DONNIE’S TATTOO”
ar[52] = “ROOFUS LOVES IT”
ar[53] = “HE LOVES COCK”
ar[54] = “THE D-BAGS”
ar[55] = “REVVED UP LIKE A DOUCHE”
ar[56] = “I REMEMBER BORK”
ar[57] = “CHICKEN MAKE LOUSY HOUSE PET”
ar[58] = “A SLUG TO THE GUTS”
ar[59] = “THE ANTI-YOU CLUB”
ar[60] = “THE BUTTPLUGZ”