I’m just gonna go ahead and say it.
This decade fucking kinda sucked.
Continue readingTag Archives: jail
PTSDecade
Comments Off on PTSDecade
Filed under Bad Influences, Comix Classic & Current, Faint Signals, Girls of BIUL, Site Stuff, Worst Of All
Snitches Get Stitches
I often bring up the time I spent in jail because I learned a lot there. Unless you’ve spent more than 48 days behind bars, you should presume that I know more about the experience than you.
Continue readingComments Off on Snitches Get Stitches
Filed under Bad Influences, Don't Know Don't Care, Faint Signals, Idiot's Delight, Site Stuff, Worst Of All
Bands I Useta Like: The Unofficial Soundtrack, Vol. I & II
Imagine if you will, a world parallel to our own, identical in many ways, disparate in others. Long story short, in this mirror universe, Bands I Useta Like was optioned by a major independent film studio, and made into a hit movie. It combined animation and live action, and because the producers had deep pockets, licensing songs for a decent soundtrack wasn’t a problem.
Whether I allowed the film to be produced at all was contingent upon the quality of the music choices. If they balked at a crucial song, or refused to include it, I would walk off the project. Which I did, and they replaced me on-screen with a real actor. Like I said, the movie was a hit.
The 2-disc soundtrack sold out of stores overnight. Even though it came packed in that shitty double jewel-box, which just winds up broken, on the floor of a car.
Comments Off on Bands I Useta Like: The Unofficial Soundtrack, Vol. I & II
Filed under Animation Analysis, Bad Influences, Comix Classic & Current, Don't Know Don't Care, Faint Signals, Movies You Missed, Thousand Listen Club
Dead Kennedys
Real political subversion will be hidden from you by the media. When do you see a current celebrity interacting with rioters, or a mob of angry protesters? Never? There you go.
Comments Off on Dead Kennedys
Filed under Bad Influences, Comix Classic & Current, Faint Signals, Thousand Listen Club
No Dark Sarcasm In The Classroom
Comedy stinks right now because you forced it to stink. You vilified every experience in life that makes a great comedian. You made the safe, sponsored version of laughter the norm. You’re so afraid to really laugh in front of other people, that you turned comedy from an anti-establishment weapon into a cottony security blanket.
Comedy stinks right now because of you. Because you’re afraid of your true feelings.
You probably don’t even know who this is.
Let’s take, as an example, one of these pusillanimous women that the media holds up as Queens of Comedy. You know the ones, I don’t have to name them. They’re all over glossy magazine covers at the checkout aisles, making “zany” faces to remind you they’re funny.
Comments Off on No Dark Sarcasm In The Classroom
Filed under Bad Influences, Faint Signals, Late To The Party, Thousand Listen Club
Ice Cube
Okay I gotta walk this one back a bit. Not for the reasons you think, like I’m afraid Ice Cube is going to beat me up/cut a “diss” track about me. Or the racial epithet, which, by the way, I’m not the one uttering.
No; it’s because an Ice Cube movie brightened up one of the darkest points of my life.
Continue reading
Comments Off on Ice Cube
Filed under Bad Influences, Comix Classic & Current, Faint Signals, Thousand Listen Club
Dear Bubble People
Wanna make sure I never watch your movie or show?
Title it “Dear White People”.
Scrub away guilt!
I won’t touch it. I don’t respond well to condescension. I could contract full-blown AIDS, “Dear White People” could have the cure, and I’d die happily, blissfully ignorant, broth bowl in hand, tumbling to the linoleum with a smile.
Any white person who would willfully watch something titled “Dear White People” is fearful of people who aren’t white. Period.
Comments Off on Dear Bubble People
Filed under Bad Influences, Don't Know Don't Care, Idiot's Delight, Worst Of All
Regional Ambiguity
When you listen to a professional newscaster, you are hearing an “all-purpose” American accent, very similar to how black comedians make fun of white guys. It’s a mode of speaking designed to be understood by a wide variety of ages and backgrounds. It’s also totally alien sounding, especially when they lapse into a Spanish voice for words like “Nicaragua”.
Outside of America, accents are seldom a focal point.
In 1990, I relocated from New Jersey to Georgia. Originally, I had a curt New Jersey accent, like Jim Norton. My first year, I roomed with a guy from Rhode Island, and when I went back to Jersey for vacation, my friends couldn’t believe what a horror show my speaking voice had become. I was the caricature of the braying Yankee.
Comments Off on Regional Ambiguity
Filed under Faint Signals, Uncategorized, Worst Of All
The Bumper Sticker
From BIUL II. It’s actually stuck on the file cabinet now.
Comments Off on The Bumper Sticker
Filed under Comix Classic & Current, Magazine Rack
The Kook Who Sat By The Door
If I could go back in time 20 years, and tell my 24-year-old self that I’d be signing my own comics at Criminal Records in Atlanta’s Little 5 Points, I wouldn’t believe it. Mostly because at 24 I was incredulous about the feasibility of time travel.
Three years ago, in jail, more than one dude told me I looked like Bruno Mars. I don’t see it.
I’ve guested at comic conventions before, but this was Criminal Records. They’ve had an almost mythical status since the 1990s, and their old location (it’s now Stratosphere Skateboards, another local business I highly recommend), which I visited often even before I lived here. It had cartoons drawn on the walls by Skip Williamson, Evan Dorkin and Bob Burden, just to name a few. I want to say Patty Leidy was up there too, but I’m going on memory here. Continue reading
Comments Off on The Kook Who Sat By The Door
Filed under Comix Classic & Current, Eatable Things, Girls of BIUL, Idiot's Delight, Magazine Rack, Uncategorized
You must be logged in to post a comment.