Every cartoonist has a cabinet full of failures. It’s part of the job. A maxim I live by is one an old writing partner told me:
They can’t all be golden.
That says “Headcheese”, in the “Cheese” font. I was being pedantic, not meta.
Tag Archives: Mike the Pod
The Worst Comic Strip Ever
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Filed under Animation Analysis, Bad Influences, Comix Classic & Current, Don't Know Don't Care, Faint Signals, Idiot's Delight, Magazine Rack, Worst Of All
The Final Time-Out
I was banned from Facebook for 24 hours. I guess I shared a .gif of bouncing boobies with my friend, on a private page. I don’t know or care, to be honest.
Go ahead, pull up Zuckerberg’s terms of service. Point out the exact fine print where it says titties are bad for social media. Tell me I’m on someone else’s digital property. Then print those terms out, roll them up, and shove them up your mother’s pussy. Sideways. Continue reading
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BIUL III: Turd Time’s The Charm
The third issue of BANDS I USETA LIKE MAGAZINE is NOW AVAILABLE FOR PURCHASE.
Unlike the first two issues, this one is 100% NEW MATERIAL.
For example: Continue reading
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The Culture Cudgel
The most efficient way you can make someone resent your culture is to force it on them.
The second best method is to insult people for not accepting your culture, as “bigots”.
Help help! I’m being repressed!
People discover cultures they love. They don’t submit to them. They submit to things they hate, because they have no other choice.
And if something has to be forced on people, it’s wrong. Continue reading
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Filed under Don't Know Don't Care, Idiot's Delight, Uncategorized, Worst Of All
Helping Millennials Understand The Simpsons
The world is tough on young people, especially when there are forces trying to control them, often by coddling them. Every awkward feeling teenagers have is commoditized and acknowledged, no matter how insignificant. Their bad moods are notated with special emoticons. Their hormonal bullshit is all validated as worthy expression.
This gag’s humor outlived the technology that inspired it.
Coincidentally, almost everything sucks.
I make an effort to be unprejudiced about millennials, I really do. I refuse to become the stereotype of the old man screaming at the kids to get off his proverbial lawn. But you have to understand the frustration. 20 years ago, I had to argue with people my age who claimed Quentin Tarantino was God. Now I’m dealing with the children of those people. Continue reading
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Filed under Animation Analysis, Bad Influences, Faint Signals, Idiot's Delight, Late To The Party, Nostalgic Obsessions, Unfairly Maligned
Soul Coughing
All comics I produced from 2006-2008 were written and drawn during the production of my movie, John’s Arm: Armageddon. I jumped the gun by putting a “release date” on my shirt in the opening panel. Here’s why.
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Filed under Animation Analysis, Bad Influences, Comix Classic & Current, Faint Signals, Thousand Listen Club
Dig Your Own Hole
In 1997, electronica duo The Chemical Brothers released their second album, Dig Your Own Hole. It went on to be an extremely popular example of “big beat” music, and is included in numerous “Best Albums of All-Time” lists. I had a copy of the CD in my old car for so long the case turned into shardy shit.
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XTC
You wanna lampoon Jehovah? It’s been done. Nobody can top Monty Python’s Life of Brian. Move on with your life.
You’re protected from nefarious religions in the present, mostly. Kids aren’t put through the parochial school ringer like sixty years ago. Nuns get in hot water for rapping the knuckles of students with a ruler. Child abuse is rightfully and openly abhorred. Continue reading
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The Jizz
I’m not going to bore you with more boasting about how I can draw better than any contemporary “web comic” artist out there. I’m going to bore you with an explanation why.
From INVISIBLE LEGENDS (unpublished)
I’ve got The Jizz.
You could set out right now to be the greatest cartoonist in the world, spend billions of dollars, and you’d still never top me. You don’t have The Jizz. I do. Continue reading
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A Pirate Looks At 44
I meant to use that title four years ago, when I turned 40. Then today, when I turned 44, I figured that using the title unchanged would confuse Jimmy Buffett searches. Buffett’s song, “A Pirate Looks At 40”, is one I have not heard before, but I’ve read the lyrics, and I understand it’s one of Buffett’s better tunes. So I replaced “40” with “44”, to set it apart.
Originally, I planned to use “butt pirate”, but there’s really only one definition to that phrase, and it’s not one that describes me. It would have made a funny title, but it also would have netted me a lot of attention, mostly unwanted. From pirates of butts, I’m guessing. They’d email me pictures of their hooks and peglegs, with the message “YARRRRR!!! I BE PLUNDERIN’ BOOTY!!!” Right? I’m not caught up on my pirate culture. Continue reading
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