Are you ready for some cosmic truths? I mean are you ready to get your mind totally blown out the wazoo? Then buckle up, buttercup! Here we go!
Tag Archives: smartphones
Instantaneous Disadvantages
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Filed under Bad Influences, Comix Classic & Current, Faint Signals, Idiot's Delight, Nostalgic Obsessions, Worst Of All
Get Off My Internet
It’s now been ten years. Even an idiot can see the experiment has failed. The cause of the failure?
Children and stupid people got onto the Internet.
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Filed under Bad Influences, Don't Know Don't Care, Idiot's Delight, Worst Of All
Phuck Phones
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Filed under Bad Influences, Comix Classic & Current, Don't Know Don't Care, Faint Signals, Girls of BIUL, Idiot's Delight, Worst Of All
The Pac-simile
Yea, I say unto you, I was in the right place at the right time for two major moments in American history. You must believe that what I’m about to tell you is the truth; it will seem like so much legend and myth.
The first: I was gifted a copy of E.T. (the game) for the Atari 2600, on Christmas, but that is a tale for another article.
I HAD TO PRETEND I ENJOYED THIS.
The second, and more significant: I talked my father into buying me Pac-Man for the Atari 2600, one of the most notoriously disappointing games of all time. Second only to E.T.,of course.
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Lamest Last Words
From BIUL III.
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Filed under Comix Classic & Current, Magazine Rack
Insecurities Fraud
Pre-Internet, not knowing the meaning of a word was a pretty serious problem.
Look that up in your Funk & Wagnalls.
Someone who disliked you could put you on the spot, in front of a group, by quizzing you on the meaning of a word.
“Come on, everyone knows what that word means. Don’t you?”
“If you know so much, then what’s it mean?”
“Oh no, I’m not telling. You first.”
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The Commoditization of Emotional Discovery
Feel like crying?
There’s an entire genre of movies, TV shows and music, explicitly designed to mollify you in your time of emotional distress. Plus, there’s a contrived ending that tells you everything’s okay. Or not. It’s basically sadness porn, after all.
Feel like laughing? Same deal. Entire blocks of television programming are devoted to laughter, loaded with disparate commercials for unhealthy items and services. You can “binge-watch” every stand-up special a comedian has produced, and then argue about a decrease in their edge, on the Internet. Isn’t that fantastic?
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Filed under Don't Know Don't Care, Eatable Things, Idiot's Delight, Nostalgic Obsessions, Robot Toy Fetish, Uncategorized, Worst Of All
The 300th Post
Welcome to the 300th post and 3rd year of the website! Remember what we did for the 200th? …You don’t? Geez, it wasn’t even that long ago. Okay, here’s a link. Now do you remember?
Because we’re doin’ it again!
©2017 Matty Boy Anderson
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Experience vs. Evidence
In the next ten years, the entire experience of seeing a concert will have changed. Forever.
These things and infants are everywhere, and you complain about guns?
Hunter S. Thompson claimed that no Doors recording existed that captured the grandeur of Jim Morrison and company on stage. I believe this, although I never bore witness to the spectacle myself. Regardless, the only real evidence will always be the albums the Doors released. Thompson’s historic experience either died with him, or ended up on the wall behind his office chair. This is, needless to say, unfortunate. Continue reading
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Shitting Monsters
From BIUL #2.
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Filed under Bad Influences, Comix Classic & Current, Don't Know Don't Care, Faint Signals, Idiot's Delight, Magazine Rack, Nostalgic Obsessions, Worst Of All
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