Tag Archives: The Onion

It’s Not You, It’s Me


Thanks for meeting me here on such short notice. I picked a public place so there’d be no worries about either of us “freaking out”. The hidden cameras are for your protection as well as mine, and oh by the way I’m live-streaming this to anywhere from four to five dozen people so cool it with the racial slurs. There might be kids around.

Continue reading

Comments Off on It’s Not You, It’s Me

Filed under Bad Influences, Don't Know Don't Care, Idiot's Delight, Nostalgic Obsessions, Site Stuff, Worst Of All

Your Emotions (Make You A Monster)

How can you tell when someone doesn’t belong on the Internet?

They get emotional. 

There is no place for emotions on the Internet. Emotions are a weakness here. They’re reduced to “emoticons”; literal badges that display the current weakness of the user. This makes it easy to spot people who struggle with manic depression, bipolarity, or hypochondria.

The Autabyss.

The Autabyss.

Whether you noticed it or not, true anonymity has been eradicated from social media. You cannot post anonymously. Remember when you could? Of course you do- it was less than ten fucking years ago.

Continue reading

Comments Off on Your Emotions (Make You A Monster)

Filed under Bad Influences, Don't Know Don't Care, Thousand Listen Club, Uncategorized