Tag Archives: The Simpsons

On The Offensive

Some people live their entire lives without ever realizing the restraints the real world puts upon them. They work a regular 9-to-5 job, watch regular TV shows, and read the comics in the Sunday paper, regularly. They make small talk with everyone they know, and keep any heavy thoughts they might have to themselves.

Continue reading

Comments Off on On The Offensive

Filed under Bad Influences, Comix Classic & Current, Girls of BIUL, Nostalgic Obsessions

It Was Twenty Years Ago Today

“Oh, wonder! How many goodly creatures are there here! How beauteous mankind is! O brave new world, that has such people in ‘t!”
-William Shakespeare, The Tempest

For the past twenty years, I’ve tried to get over it. I’ve tried to make sense of it.

I can’t.

Continue reading

Comments Off on It Was Twenty Years Ago Today

Filed under Bad Influences, Don't Know Don't Care, Faint Signals, Nostalgic Obsessions, Unfairly Maligned, Worst Of All

The Individual Must Die

Of course I was spoiled growing up. We didn’t just have The Muppet Show (and Fraggle Rock!) on TV- we knew the name of the man who brought the Muppets to life; Jim Henson. We even knew that the man who voiced “Miss Piggy”, Frank Oz, guest-starred in one of the biggest sequels of all time, as a little green alien called “Yoda”.

Oh, and that sequel? We all knew whose baby it was. George Lucas. His film-school buddy Steven Spielberg was the mastermind behind E.T., Close Encounters of the Third Kind, Jaws, and the classic-styled anthology show Amazing Stories. (Just to name a few.)

Continue reading

Comments Off on The Individual Must Die

Filed under Animation Analysis, Bad Influences, Comix Classic & Current, Faint Signals, Idiot's Delight, Nostalgic Obsessions, Worst Of All

When The Shill Hits The Fan

Before I begin, I want you to understand that I have no reason to lie to you. I don’t care about alienating the companies I’ll be attacking in the following article because they have nothing to offer me.

The comic book industry I dreamed about being part of since I was a boy is dead. It’s never coming back. It will never recover.

Continue reading

Comments Off on When The Shill Hits The Fan

Filed under Animation Analysis, Bad Influences, Comix Classic & Current, Don't Know Don't Care, Idiot's Delight, Magazine Rack, Nostalgic Obsessions, Robot Toy Fetish, Worst Of All

For No Reason, Here’s Apu

I often defend the things I love in life because of how much I have learned from them. From cartoon characters, I have learned a great many things. For instance, I have learned that there exist people in this world whose hearts are so cold and devoid of joy, they seek only to extinguish that joy in others, no matter the cost.

Continue reading

Comments Off on For No Reason, Here’s Apu

Filed under Animation Analysis, Don't Know Don't Care, Nostalgic Obsessions, Thousand Listen Club, Worst Of All

Terminal and Malignant Fancer

Believe it or not, I still watch and enjoy The Simpsons. Just not on Sundays when it’s new.

I wait however long is necessary until it’s on YouTube, and I watch it then. Alone. Often years after it aired. Why?

Because there’s no other way to judge it fairly. It’s ruined in its proper time slot.

Continue reading

Comments Off on Terminal and Malignant Fancer

Filed under Animation Analysis, Bad Influences, Don't Know Don't Care, Girls of BIUL, Idiot's Delight, Late To The Party, Worst Of All

The Itis of March

This’ll be a quick one. Didn’t mean to be away for so long. These things happen. But let me make one thing clear:

I hate March.

Fuck “Smarch”, too.

Continue reading

Comments Off on The Itis of March

Filed under Bad Influences, Don't Know Don't Care, Late To The Party, Site Stuff, Worst Of All

Bully For You

Here is a foolproof, ironclad, never-fail method to keep your kids from being bullied. Ready? This is worth a million dollars. Here it comes.

DON’T HAVE KIDS. 

Continue reading

Comments Off on Bully For You

Filed under Bad Influences, Don't Know Don't Care, Idiot's Delight, Worst Of All

Dead Kennedys

Real political subversion will be hidden from you by the media. When do you see a current celebrity interacting with rioters, or a mob of angry protesters? Never? There you go.

Continue reading

Comments Off on Dead Kennedys

Filed under Bad Influences, Comix Classic & Current, Faint Signals, Thousand Listen Club

Matty Watches Transformers: The Last Knight

As an “underground” artist, I go broke often. Sometimes I have to sacrifice comfort or nourishment to pay my rent.

Sometimes, I’m broke because I’m a total assclown who takes public transportation across town to see a $22 popcorn movie, alone. (I didn’t have enough for actual popcorn.)

Even while facing the consequences, I have no regrets.

I don’t know what the hell Al Gore had to do with the history of Transformers, and I don’t want to know. I had to sit through the trailer for his second bullshit global-warming scare film, and he can go fuck himself with an iceberg.

Continue reading

Comments Off on Matty Watches Transformers: The Last Knight

Filed under Bad Influences, Idiot's Delight, Movies You Missed, Nostalgic Obsessions, Robot Toy Fetish, Saturday Movie Matinee, Unfairly Maligned