Tag Archives: The Simpsons

Reborted

Moviegoers today act like naked Kate Winslet in Titanic, coyly demanding Leonardo DiCaprio to draw her like a French girl. A preternatural relationship has been forged between audience and studio. A production falls all over itself to seduce a fandom, because that’s where the blindly loyal dollars are. If a popular intellectual property is even slightly altered for a motion picture adaptation, it’s headline news, even above mass murder and election-year chicanery.

Eventually, this film will be remade, and this scene will feature different actors, pretty much just to fuck with you.

Eventually, this film will be remade, and this scene will feature different actors, pretty much just to fuck with you.

The movie industry has become such an intellectual wasteland that the 80s era of numerical sequel-mania looks dignified by comparison. Honest promotion and word-of-mouth don’t work anymore; attention span is dead. The only way to really sell a remake is to get people steamed. Take the things viewers loved about an original film, and subvert them. Serves the suckers right anyway, for falling in love with a fictional universe. The names P.T. Barnum and J.J. Abrams aren’t similar for nothing. Continue reading

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Filed under Don't Know Don't Care, Idiot's Delight, Late To The Party, Nostalgic Obsessions, Saturday Movie Matinee, Worst Of All

A Can’t-Miss Proposition

2009 was a tense year for BIUL; I was still decompressing post-movie production, and dealing with myriad life-changing bullshit. At some point I drew a comic strip about Living Colour.

No idea who the woman with the awful hair is supposed to be.

No idea who the woman with the awful hair is supposed to be.

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Filed under Bad Influences, Comix Classic & Current, Faint Signals

Fresh & Fruity

Fruit is a humorous word, as is fruity; “fruitiness” is inherently funny. I’ve never been called a fruit, but I don’t think this affects my judgment of it; I’ve been called a “faggot”, and I still laugh at that word. How can you not crack up at words that rhyme with “agate” and “toot”, particularly when they’re barked in anger? “Agate” is funny-sounding. “Faggot” is just “agate” with a funny hat. See what I mean?

fruitstripeOkay, I know it’s a fine line. What isn’t these days, when it comes to sharing dialogue? My point is, “fruity” used to be a thing. One needn’t necessarily be gay to be fruity, or even queer. Fruity is a sort of indefinable mien, typically the product of societal constraints, resulting in a general state of fruitiness. Like weirdos, fruits don’t refer to themselves as such, but are so named by the more ignorant of the species. To the unknowing, it’s like calling someone a “chair”, or a “table”.

As entertainment continues to move away from “hurting feelings”, a load-bearing pillar of basic comedy, another flavor of humor has been lost.

Fruit flavor.

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Filed under Bad Influences, Faint Signals, Nostalgic Obsessions, Saturday Movie Matinee

Æon Flux: The Herodotus File

From 1991 to 1995, the animated femme fatale Æon Flux appeared on MTV (of all places), at first in shorts that appeared on the variety program Liquid Television. She was created by Korean animator Peter Chung, storyboard artist for Transformers: The Movie (1986), and veteran of cartoon shows like Rugrats and Ring Raiders.

Rob Liefeld learned everything he knows about female anatomy from this single image.

Rob Liefeld learned everything he knows about female anatomy from this single image.

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Filed under Animation Analysis, Faint Signals, Girls of BIUL, Movies You Missed, Nostalgic Obsessions, Saturday Movie Matinee

Tracey Ullman

Fame is a funny thing. When it gets too big, it works against you, and you become overexposed. You’ve seen it time and time again; a company pushes a performer or a movie so hard, you can’t recall a time when you weren’t sick of them. Even their positive qualities become tiresome.

Then eventually, we acknowledge their talents, allowing that they were revealed during a time of intense corporate saturation.

Before 1986, there were three television networks; CBS, NBC, and ABC. Then in October of that year, Fox became the fourth, co-founded by the tyrant Rupert Murdoch. Fox would introduce a slate of unusual programming over the following two years, which included Married… With Children, The Arsenio Hall Show, 21 Jump Street, and a variety program (with animated bumpers) called The Tracey Ullman Show.

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Filed under Animation Analysis, Bad Influences, Faint Signals, Girls of BIUL, Nostalgic Obsessions, Thousand Listen Club

Animation Analysis: The Iron Giant

If you’re reading this on Christmas afternoon because your family is driving you nuts, and you have the technology, I suggest that you legally download The Iron Giant, from 1999. Gather everyone around, and watch it with them. It will make your holidays extra wonderful.

irongiant1

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Filed under Animation Analysis, Movies You Missed, Robot Toy Fetish, Saturday Movie Matinee

Electric Light Orchestra

BIUL_ELO

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Filed under Bad Influences, Comix Classic & Current, Faint Signals, Nostalgic Obsessions, Thousand Listen Club

Bouillon Cube Theory

Almost every single aspect of my personality can be explained by one simple fact: when I was a kid I ate a bouillon cube.

bouillonI was too young to know better. I had witnessed the flavor sorcery that resulted when my parents would cook with a bouillon cube. Surely, I reasoned, if it made dinner taste that good, then a whole cube of it would be a trip to flavor heaven.  I even imagined it might expand into a steak or a burger, like in The Jetsons. So one evening I sneaked into the kitchen, unwrapped a beef cube, popped it in my mouth, and chewed it up. Continue reading

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Filed under Bad Influences, Eatable Things, Nostalgic Obsessions, Robot Toy Fetish, Thousand Listen Club