Tag Archives: The Transformers: The Movie

Sometimes, I’m broke because I’m a total assclown who takes public transportation across town to see a $22 popcorn movie, alone. (I didn’t have enough for actual popcorn.)

Even while facing the consequences, I have no regrets.

I don’t know what the hell Al Gore had to do with the history of Transformers, and I don’t want to know. I had to sit through the trailer for his second bullshit global-warming scare film, and he can go fuck himself with an iceberg.

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Comments Off on Matty Watches Transformers: The Last Knight

Filed under Bad Influences, Idiot's Delight, Movies You Missed, Nostalgic Obsessions, Robot Toy Fetish, Saturday Movie Matinee, Unfairly Maligned

Tagged as 1980s, 1986, 1988, 1990s, 1991, 1996, 2000, 2007, 2008, 2017, 3-D, Cartoon Network, corporate crap, Dark of the Moon, Godzilla, Hasbro, Mark Wahlberg, Michael Bay, movies, Optimus Prime, Revenge of the Fallen, Robert Loggia, Steve Buscemi, The Simpsons, The Transformers: The Movie, Tom Hanks, Transformers, Zero Mostel

12/29/2016 · 1:55 pm

Ah Leia Akbar

Carrie Fisher, the beloved actress who played the role of Princess Leia Organa in Star Wars, is no longer alive. You’re welcome for the update, recently-awakened coma victim.

There is literally nothing I can say about this. Literally; even praise will be feted as heresy. Legendary comedian Steve Martin, who knew Fisher, dared to tweet that she was beautiful when he met her, and of course the virtue-signalers can’t have that.

This is a gift from the man who made The Jerk and wrote Picasso at the Lapin Agile, you philistines.

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Filed under Faint Signals, Girls of BIUL, Idiot's Delight, Nostalgic Obsessions, Saturday Movie Matinee

Tagged as 1970s, 1977, 1980, 1980s, 1983, 1986, 1987, Carrie Fisher, CGI, corporate crap, Debbie Reynolds, despair, Disney, Donnie Iris, Harrison Ford, Heavy Metal, movies, Return of the Jedi, sellouts, Spaceballs, Star Wars, Steve Martin, The Blues Brothers, The Empire Strikes Back, The Fifth Element, The Jerk, The Transformers: The Movie, Tom Hanks

08/21/2016 · 4:58 pm

Animation Analysis: Heavy Metal

When analyzing or criticizing animated feature films, it’s important to keep three factors in mind:

The talent
The resources
The date of production and release

Production designer: the late great Michael Gross, who gave you National Lampoon Comics and the Ghostbusters logo (for a movie Ivan Reitman directed that you might have heard of).

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Comments Off on Animation Analysis: Heavy Metal

Filed under Animation Analysis, Faint Signals, Girls of BIUL, Movies You Missed, Nostalgic Obsessions, O'Shloktoberfest, Saturday Movie Matinee, Thousand Listen Club, Unfairly Maligned

Tagged as 1980s, 1981, Angus McKie, Animal House, animation, Bernie Wrightson, Black Sabbath, Blue Oyster Cult, breasts, comix, Cornelius Cole III, DEVO, Donald Fagen, Elmer Bernstein, Eugene Levy, Fast Times At Ridgemont High, Frank Frazetta, Harold Ramis, Heavy Metal, Hey Good Lookin', Iron Maiden, John Candy, John Vernon, Journey, metal, Michael Gross, Moebius, movies, National Lampoon, NSFW, Percy Rodriguez, Ralph Bakshi, Richard Corben, Riggs, Rodger Bumpass, rotoscope, Sammy Hagar, Star Wars, Stevie Nicks, The Transformers: The Movie, Watership Down

06/14/2016 · 5:04 pm

Animation Analysis: The Transformers: The Movie

For the past ten years, one Rhode Island company has made me so deliriously happy, I’ve considered corporate personhood, so I could ask for its hand in marriage.

Hasbro.

They even threw in a rubsign. Hasbro is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.

2006 was the year this little toy company had a subline of their Transformers toys called “Classics”; new figures of favorite characters from the 1984 cartoon. And a funny thing happened- these robots from an old show sold very, very well. Characters like “Bumblebee”, “Megatron” and “Optimus Prime” were familiar to a enviously broad range of people. They had staying power equal to Superman or Batman. The world was on the cusp of finding this out. Continue reading →

Comments Off on Animation Analysis: The Transformers: The Movie

Filed under Animation Analysis, Bad Influences, Faint Signals, Idiot's Delight, Movies You Missed, Nostalgic Obsessions, Robot Toy Fetish, Saturday Movie Matinee, Thousand Listen Club, Unfairly Maligned

Tagged as "Weird" Al Yankovic, 1980s, 1985, 1986, 1990s, 1996, 2000s, 2007, 2011, 2014, Beast Wars, Boogie Nights, DEVO, Don Johnson, Eric Idle, Frank Welker, G.I. Joe, John Moschitta, Judd Nelson, Lionel Stander, Mark Wahlberg, Michael Bay, Monty Python, movies, Nelson Shin, New Jack City, New Jersey, Optimus Prime, Orson Welles, Pawtucket, Peter Chung, Peter Cullen, Rhode Island, Ron Friedman, Shia LeBeouf, Star Wars, Steven Spielberg, Tailothepup, The Simpsons, The Transformers: The Movie, Transformers, Vince DiCola

03/03/2016 · 1:15 pm

What Bay Got Right

(This article originally appeared in a less edited form on Mike The Pod, 7/11/11. Please note that since then, there has been a fourth Transformers, which grossed over a billion dollars, and there’s a fifth on the way in 2017. There is a schedule of yearly releases stretching a decade into the future, the same as Marvel, and Disney’s Star Wars.)

SPOILERS covers all three movies in the Michael Bay Transformers trilogy (until it becomes a quadrilogy, or quintology, which I wouldn’t complain about).

If this article becomes too insular for you, dear reader, may I heartily recommend you to tfwiki.com. Mostly because I’ll be goddamned if I’m going to link every whatsit on this page. If you’re a repeat visitor that doesn’t like it when I go off about robots, this is going to make you hate my guts. Continue reading →