Tag Archives: Transformers

Hearts Are Trump

Gonzo journalism is a style of journalism that is written without claims of objectivity, often including the reporter as part of the story via a first-person narrative. The word “gonzo” is believed to have been first used in 1970 to describe an article by Hunter S. Thompson, who later popularized the style.

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So last weekend I was about a hundred feet from Donald Trump.

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Filed under Bad Influences, Don't Know Don't Care, Idiot's Delight, Worst Of All

Here’s Your Problem

It’s 2016, and I can tell you’re not ready. The last twelve months really added wear and tear. You’ll have to do more than make resolutions you won’t keep, if you’re gonna roll through another year. I’m here to help, though. I’ve taken a good look under your hood, and I think I see the issue. It’s not a problem yet per se, but it could seriously affect your performance in the coming days.

HaynesBIUL

Let me break it down for you.

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Filed under Idiot's Delight, Late To The Party, Nostalgic Obsessions, Robot Toy Fetish, Saturday Movie Matinee, Uncategorized, Worst Of All

Rock Monglers

In 1986, the greatest animated film based on a toyline in history premiered. It had celebrity voices, stunning visuals, and in the years following, it became an unstoppable cult classic.

A few months prior to that, Hanna-Barbera produced a cheap, ugly little movie, as is their wont, this time about warriors that turn into rocks. It had “celebrity voices” and the same discount animation they always used, and was quickly (and deservedly) forgotten. It was called GoBots: Battle of the Rock Lords.

aka "Gaybots, Babble of the Cocklords" (Petey, 3rd grade)

aka “Gaybots, Babble of the Cocklords” (Petey, 6th grade)

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Filed under Animation Analysis, Bad Influences, Faint Signals, Idiot's Delight, Nostalgic Obsessions, Robot Toy Fetish, Saturday Movie Matinee, Worst Of All

Talking Heads

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Filed under Bad Influences, Comix Classic & Current, Faint Signals, Idiot's Delight, Movies You Missed, Nostalgic Obsessions, Robot Toy Fetish, Thousand Listen Club

Bouillon Cube Theory

Almost every single aspect of my personality can be explained by one simple fact: when I was a kid I ate a bouillon cube.

bouillonI was too young to know better. I had witnessed the flavor sorcery that resulted when my parents would cook with a bouillon cube. Surely, I reasoned, if it made dinner taste that good, then a whole cube of it would be a trip to flavor heaven.  I even imagined it might expand into a steak or a burger, like in The Jetsons. So one evening I sneaked into the kitchen, unwrapped a beef cube, popped it in my mouth, and chewed it up. Continue reading

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Filed under Bad Influences, Eatable Things, Nostalgic Obsessions, Robot Toy Fetish, Thousand Listen Club

Resident Evil: Retribution (2012)

O’Shloktoberfest is an autumn exploration of that rarest of substances: Decent Schlock. Each October I’ll wade through the sludge of 21st century horror so you don’t have to. 

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I think I should start this off with an open acknowledgment; Milla Jovovich is a great sport. Her obvious good looks aside, she has that Ukranian pluck that makes it tough to dislike her. She seems to be constantly in motion, typically crashing through walls and windows. I wouldn’t call myself a huge fan, but that doesn’t mean I don’t appreciate that Milla Jovovich is out there blasting the dogshit out of something or other, usually while looking terrific if not kinda stoned.

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Filed under O'Shloktoberfest, Saturday Movie Matinee