Tag Archives: Tron
Journey
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Filed under Animation Analysis, Bad Influences, Comix Classic & Current, Faint Signals, Movies You Missed, Nostalgic Obsessions, Saturday Movie Matinee, Thousand Listen Club
The Pac-simile
Yea, I say unto you, I was in the right place at the right time for two major moments in American history. You must believe that what I’m about to tell you is the truth; it will seem like so much legend and myth.
The first: I was gifted a copy of E.T. (the game) for the Atari 2600, on Christmas, but that is a tale for another article.
I HAD TO PRETEND I ENJOYED THIS.
The second, and more significant: I talked my father into buying me Pac-Man for the Atari 2600, one of the most notoriously disappointing games of all time. Second only to E.T.,of course.
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Filed under Bad Influences, Faint Signals, Idiot's Delight, Nostalgic Obsessions
A Snowball’s Chance In Hell
I strive to be fair in my work, I really do. Except for when I don’t, and I’m not.
Meaning, there’s a handful of musical acts for which I have no love. All I have for them is contempt, which I lamely try to carve into humor. It’s best that I come clean about it, to put an end to wondering why I don’t mention some bands at all. Ever.
I don’t want to know how many times it’s been tattooed. I assume a lot.
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Filed under Bad Influences, Don't Know Don't Care, Idiot's Delight, Worst Of All
Gridbug Chasers
In the 1982 science-fiction fantasy TRON, there comes a moment inside the computer world where the protagonists are imperiled by “gridbugs”.
Clearly a threat.
The danger is underlined by dialogue spoken by Cindy Morgan, as the shapely input/output program Yori:
“This isn’t going to be easy. If those gridbugs get us, we’ve had it.”
The gridbugs in question get a ten-second interlude, complete with a unique and rather corny soundtrack cue, and then go on to never affect anything or even be mentioned in passing again. Continue reading
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Filed under Animation Analysis, Don't Know Don't Care, Faint Signals, Idiot's Delight, Movies You Missed, Nostalgic Obsessions, Robot Toy Fetish, Saturday Movie Matinee, Unfairly Maligned, Worst Of All
Your Emotions (Make You A Monster)
How can you tell when someone doesn’t belong on the Internet?
They get emotional.
There is no place for emotions on the Internet. Emotions are a weakness here. They’re reduced to “emoticons”; literal badges that display the current weakness of the user. This makes it easy to spot people who struggle with manic depression, bipolarity, or hypochondria.
The Autabyss.
Whether you noticed it or not, true anonymity has been eradicated from social media. You cannot post anonymously. Remember when you could? Of course you do- it was less than ten fucking years ago.
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Filed under Bad Influences, Don't Know Don't Care, Thousand Listen Club, Uncategorized
Reborted
Moviegoers today act like naked Kate Winslet in Titanic, coyly demanding Leonardo DiCaprio to draw her like a French girl. A preternatural relationship has been forged between audience and studio. A production falls all over itself to seduce a fandom, because that’s where the blindly loyal dollars are. If a popular intellectual property is even slightly altered for a motion picture adaptation, it’s headline news, even above mass murder and election-year chicanery.
Eventually, this film will be remade, and this scene will feature different actors, pretty much just to fuck with you.
The movie industry has become such an intellectual wasteland that the 80s era of numerical sequel-mania looks dignified by comparison. Honest promotion and word-of-mouth don’t work anymore; attention span is dead. The only way to really sell a remake is to get people steamed. Take the things viewers loved about an original film, and subvert them. Serves the suckers right anyway, for falling in love with a fictional universe. The names P.T. Barnum and J.J. Abrams aren’t similar for nothing. Continue reading
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Filed under Don't Know Don't Care, Idiot's Delight, Late To The Party, Nostalgic Obsessions, Saturday Movie Matinee, Worst Of All
Daft Punk
I bet you money that the original name these guys picked was “Daft Cunt”. I bet you money. Who ever heard of a “daft punk”?
Louis C.K. said it’s okay for me to say “cunt” on my site. Take it up with him. But why would you have an issue with that, and not the dick in the ear above?
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Filed under Bad Influences, Comix Classic & Current, Nostalgic Obsessions
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