Tag Archives: whores

Social Justice Whores

A few years back, I was confused as to why so many people on-line were identifying as “Single Jewish Women”. I thought perhaps it was a hacking incident, or a mass gaslighting (masslighting?). The truth was far more banal.

Hey… remember when dudes (you call them Nazis now, due to your low testosterone) would get together after a long week of work and party hard? They were called Weekend Warriors.

Whatever war they fought in, versus weekends, watery beer, or good taste; it was every bit as real a conflict as the one fought by trendy Social Justice Warriors.

As in, not at all.

Continue reading

Comments Off on Social Justice Whores

Filed under Bad Influences, Don't Know Don't Care, Idiot's Delight, Worst Of All

On The Turning Away

It’s time for us, as a species, to make a healthy admission.

The world we knew and loved, just years ago, is dead. It’s gone. It’s never coming back. Not even as a side mission in a GTA game. Now we are left with the nagging sensation that things were once better. It’s too painful to consider the reasons why. Hold on to the memory, and carry on.

Continue reading

Comments Off on On The Turning Away

Filed under Bad Influences, Don't Know Don't Care, Faint Signals, Idiot's Delight, Worst Of All

How To Be Garbage

[Author’s Note: This article is about how to be actual garbage, as in waste and refuse, not how to be the band “Garbage”.]

Here’s a hypothetical and hard-to-believe scenario. You’re talking to someone about how much you like my comics. Just go with it, alright? The person you’re talking to suddenly pipes up with, “Oh yeah, know that guy. Have for years. He’s a real piece of shit. Let me tell you all about that pussy.”

Congratulations! You’ve had an encounter with garbage.

This could be you!

It’s not difficult. Garbage is everywhere. It stinks, and we all have to deal with it sooner or later.

Continue reading

Comments Off on How To Be Garbage

Filed under Bad Influences, Don't Know Don't Care, Idiot's Delight, Site Stuff, Worst Of All

Not For You

I’m old enough to remember when Bill Maher was a stand-up comedian; i.e., a person who stands behind a microphone and makes people laugh. I have vague memories of Kathy Griffin doing the same thing. As far as I can determine now, Maher and Griffin just make people mad, by saying or doing something deliberately inappropriate, and then flaying open their breast in apology, crocodile tears a-flow.

Then they go back to being unfunny. Because funny ain’t what pays their bills.

More integrity and realism than anything Maher has done since.

I’m also old enough to recall when Maher’s show Politically Incorrect lived up to its name, instead of being a vehicle for trendy virtue-signals. My pal Jim Goad once made an appearance. It was far more fringy and loose. Now it’s a reductive caricature, a safe forum for “differing viewpoints” (vetted by the network/sponsors). It’s a funnier joke as it is than anything that ever came out of Bill Maher’s mouth.

Continue reading

Comments Off on Not For You

Filed under Bad Influences, Don't Know Don't Care, Idiot's Delight, Worst Of All

I Never Liked You: 2 Live Crew

Can I let you in on a little secret?

Nobody actually likes 2 Live Crew. They stank. They were the kind of fraud that today, would be secretly sponsored by George “Fuck Everything Good” Soros. 2 Live Crew was just garbage.

I don’t know what a “puxxy” is, but I bet if you popped one, it would make a bad smell.

It was humiliating to stock, sell or even see 2 Live Crew albums in the record store. As soon as a customer brought one to the counter, you knew there would be a problem. The customer was always under 18, and thus forbidden to purchase the music; no one older than 18 cared about it. If they enjoyed rap, they had already moved on to something actually good.

Continue reading

Comments Off on I Never Liked You: 2 Live Crew

Filed under Don't Know Don't Care, Faint Signals, Idiot's Delight, Worst Of All

The Legend of Dickie Goodman

From BIUL III.

Continue reading

Comments Off on The Legend of Dickie Goodman

Filed under Bad Influences, Comix Classic & Current, Don't Know Don't Care, Faint Signals, Idiot's Delight, Magazine Rack, Nostalgic Obsessions, Worst Of All

The Loudness War

From 1992 to 1995, I worked in the music store on the upper level of the Savannah Mall. Disc Jockey was the other music store, on the lower level and the opposite end. Our respective locations affected our clientele; we were next to the upscale department store, and they were next to the parking lot.

Of course there was a rivalry.

Despite what you might think, it was friendly. We all ate in the same food court, and used the same deposit chute. If a customer stumped our staff, we’d begrudgingly call downstairs and ask their staff. Sometimes one store knew something the other didn’t. Upcoming trends in music, promotions, closings, and firings within the busy mall.

Continue reading

Comments Off on The Loudness War

Filed under Bad Influences, Faint Signals, Idiot's Delight, Thousand Listen Club, Worst Of All

The Face of Kellyanne

Last year, all I wanted to do was crack jokes about Hillary Clinton’s ever-smug face. Her daughter Chelsea, too. Throw in that awful Debbie Wasserman Shultz, and you’ve got a trifecta of ghoulish visages I was literally salivating to goof on. Caricature unflatteringly, at the least.

And I didn’t.

I didn’t make fun of the women at the Trump rally, either. I couldn’t; they were all attractive, and could possibly have shamed me as a man.

While the entire media industry decided to make fun of Donald Trump’s face, like a bus full of second-graders, I didn’t stoop to their level. And oh, they had a field day. They’re still doodling him as an anus, or a Cheeto. I’ve seen that illustration of Trump as a shit-spattered baby so many times I could forge it from memory.

Continue reading

Comments Off on The Face of Kellyanne

Filed under Bad Influences, Don't Know Don't Care, Girls of BIUL, Idiot's Delight, Worst Of All

A Toast To Absent Friends

Imagine if legendary and revered comedian Bill Hicks hadn’t died in 1994.

Some people believe Alex Jones is really Bill Hicks. I am not among them.

What if- just hear me out- he supported Trump in 2016? How would that make you feel about him? What if he’d gone “right-wing”, pre- or post-9/11? Would he still be referenced in Tool songs?

Continue reading

Comments Off on A Toast To Absent Friends

Filed under Bad Influences, Faint Signals, Idiot's Delight, Nostalgic Obsessions

Dear Bubble People

Wanna make sure I never watch your movie or show?

Title it “Dear White People”. 

Scrub away guilt!

I won’t touch it. I don’t respond well to condescension. I could contract full-blown AIDS, “Dear White People” could have the cure, and I’d die happily, blissfully ignorant, broth bowl in hand, tumbling to the linoleum with a smile.

Any white person who would willfully watch something titled “Dear White People” is fearful of people who aren’t white. Period.

Continue reading

Comments Off on Dear Bubble People

Filed under Bad Influences, Don't Know Don't Care, Idiot's Delight, Worst Of All