Tag Archives: whores

06/25/2016 · 12:56 am

Helping Millennials Understand The Simpsons

The world is tough on young people, especially when there are forces trying to control them, often by coddling them. Every awkward feeling teenagers have is commoditized and acknowledged, no matter how insignificant. Their bad moods are notated with special emoticons. Their hormonal bullshit is all validated as worthy expression.

This gag's humor outlived the technology that inspired it.

This gag’s humor outlived the technology that inspired it.

Coincidentally, almost everything sucks.

I make an effort to be unprejudiced about millennials, I really do. I refuse to become the stereotype of the old man screaming at the kids to get off his proverbial lawn. But you have to understand the frustration. 20 years ago, I had to argue with people my age who claimed Quentin Tarantino was God. Now I’m dealing with the children of those people. Continue reading →

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Filed under Animation Analysis, Bad Influences, Faint Signals, Idiot's Delight, Late To The Party, Nostalgic Obsessions, Unfairly Maligned

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04/21/2016 · 8:08 pm

A Fart In The Face

Earlier this year I crossed a boundary with the dog.

A different dog.

This is a different dog.

I’d eaten some godawful fried thing or another, and feeling a buildup of gas, I leaped over to the dog, crouched directly above his face, and knocked a king-size fart across his nose.

Triumphant, I turned to face the dog, expecting adoration for this generous gastric flotilla. Instead, the dog regarded me with a reproachful look, the kind I expect people receive when they jiggle their comatose grandmother’s breast for a family photo.

“What’s the matter?” I asked the dog in plain English, as though he would reply in kind. “Don’t you, a dog, enjoy the smell of shit?” Continue reading →

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Filed under Bad Influences, Don't Know Don't Care, Faint Signals, Idiot's Delight, Worst Of All

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03/24/2016 · 4:05 pm

Reborted

Moviegoers today act like naked Kate Winslet in Titanic, coyly demanding Leonardo DiCaprio to draw her like a French girl. A preternatural relationship has been forged between audience and studio. A production falls all over itself to seduce a fandom, because that’s where the blindly loyal dollars are. If a popular intellectual property is even slightly altered for a motion picture adaptation, it’s headline news, even above mass murder and election-year chicanery.

Eventually, this film will be remade, and this scene will feature different actors, pretty much just to fuck with you.

Eventually, this film will be remade, and this scene will feature different actors, pretty much just to fuck with you.

The movie industry has become such an intellectual wasteland that the 80s era of numerical sequel-mania looks dignified by comparison. Honest promotion and word-of-mouth don’t work anymore; attention span is dead. The only way to really sell a remake is to get people steamed. Take the things viewers loved about an original film, and subvert them. Serves the suckers right anyway, for falling in love with a fictional universe. The names P.T. Barnum and J.J. Abrams aren’t similar for nothing. Continue reading →

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Filed under Don't Know Don't Care, Idiot's Delight, Late To The Party, Nostalgic Obsessions, Saturday Movie Matinee, Worst Of All

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02/22/2016 · 12:24 am

Hearts Are Trump

Gonzo journalism is a style of journalism that is written without claims of objectivity, often including the reporter as part of the story via a first-person narrative. The word “gonzo” is believed to have been first used in 1970 to describe an article by Hunter S. Thompson, who later popularized the style.

trump1

So last weekend I was about a hundred feet from Donald Trump.

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02/01/2016 · 2:29 pm

A Can’t-Miss Proposition

2009 was a tense year for BIUL; I was still decompressing post-movie production, and dealing with myriad life-changing bullshit. At some point I drew a comic strip about Living Colour.

No idea who the woman with the awful hair is supposed to be.

No idea who the woman with the awful hair is supposed to be.

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Filed under Bad Influences, Comix Classic & Current, Faint Signals

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01/02/2016 · 1:05 am

Here’s Your Problem

It’s 2016, and I can tell you’re not ready. The last twelve months really added wear and tear. You’ll have to do more than make resolutions you won’t keep, if you’re gonna roll through another year. I’m here to help, though. I’ve taken a good look under your hood, and I think I see the issue. It’s not a problem yet per se, but it could seriously affect your performance in the coming days.

HaynesBIUL

Let me break it down for you.

Continue reading →

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Filed under Idiot's Delight, Late To The Party, Nostalgic Obsessions, Robot Toy Fetish, Saturday Movie Matinee, Uncategorized, Worst Of All

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12/03/2015 · 1:54 pm

Mazzy Star

BIUL_Mazzy_Star Continue reading →

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Filed under Bad Influences, Comix Classic & Current, Faint Signals, Girls of BIUL, Worst Of All

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11/03/2015 · 12:15 am

The Dictates of the Format

Whether you realize it or not, the way that you listen to music is dictated by the way it’s sold to you.

The “record album” was crippled and marched to extinction by a file-sharing website called Napster. Once users could cherry-pick the songs they desired for free, there was no longer any reason to package them together, or design art for them. Ipods were created once Apple saw the fortune to be reaped from people wanting a computer just to fill with audio files. Because there was no more incentive to craft a suite of tunes, or a concept album, everything went back to short pop music again. Because the convenience had redeemed it profitable.

I don’t like to lash out and spread negativity, but I truly hope the kid who created Napster sucks cocks in hell for eternity. It’s all that punk-ass’s fault. Continue reading →

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Filed under Bad Influences, Faint Signals, Idiot's Delight, Nostalgic Obsessions, Thousand Listen Club

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09/11/2015 · 12:33 am

Axl of Nazareth

I never liked Guns ‘N Roses, and this might surprise you, but my reasons are weird. On the surface, I found Axl Rose grating and embarrassingly trashy, although the other band members were really good, and their album Appetite For Destruction was my earliest exposure to the art of Rob’t Williams. But I never could abide a poseur, and in my opinion, Axl Rose has built a career impersonating the lead singer of Scottish hard-rock band Nazareth.

nazareth1 Continue reading →

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Filed under Bad Influences, Eatable Things, Faint Signals, Idiot's Delight, Nostalgic Obsessions

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08/21/2015 · 10:57 am

Hole

BIUL_Hole

The closest you can get to “a good Hole song” is the following. If there exists a female voice that science could prove is subconscious torture to heterosexual men, it would be Courtney Love’s. Continue reading →

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