The Itis of March

This’ll be a quick one. Didn’t mean to be away for so long. These things happen. But let me make one thing clear:

I hate March.

Fuck “Smarch”, too.

I hate March more than any other month of the calendar year. Hate it, hate it, hate it. Bad things happen in March. Friends become enemies. Friends die. Enemies live on to tell lies about you. Name any year in the past ten, and I can give you a scorecard of all the brutal bullshit I suffered during 31 days of that year. It never fails, and bracing for it does no good, because whatever happens is always worse than anything for which you might have prepared.

I know some of you have birthdays in March. That’s good. That means you probably won’t experience the same beating I do once Month #3 rears its ugly-ass head. Maybe it’s the Earth’s orbit, maybe it’s solar flares that like to run wild before April arrives. Maybe it’s my “water rat” sign on the Chinese Zodiac. I don’t know. I don’t care. I hate March. March is a dick in both ears.

Even the name sucks; “March”. That’s what your mom says when you won’t get out of bed for church. That’s what people do when they torch villages, chase a monster out of town, or when they have more passion than political sense. March. March right up to your room, boy, and think about what you’ve done. March your little butt over to the neighbor’s and apologize, right now. Or you gonna get it.

So, this March, when things inevitably took a giant shit, I let it slide and worried about myself. I was too caught up in my own problems to come up with any article or cartoon ideas, so I just did nothing. I let the site hang for a month. Bless your heart if you noticed. I’ve said it before; if I gotta worry about where rent is coming from, I don’t give a shit about drawing little whosits or writing about whatevers. All I give a fuck about is getting paid. I’ve done homeless. It’s literally for the goddamn birds.

Next month, the bill comes up to renew the site’s hosting. I honestly considered letting it go. I never asked anyone if they wanted this site, so it makes no sense for me to kill myself keeping it on-line. I inhabit a body that must be fed and housed properly. Those things take great precedence over whatever dubious benefit this website might provide. Truthfully, most people have become utterly spoiled by the presence of Internet in their lives; access is considered to be a “right”. I tell you what; I’ll consider the Internet a “right” as soon as it’s free.

I won’t hold my breath.

Just remember this. Neither I nor this website will be around forever. Not by a longshot. Thus far this site has been free of advertisements. The next time I go tits-up, that’s subject to change immediately. We’re at a point where it’s no longer a sign of integrity, but rather an indication of foolishness, not to feature paid ads. Everything you see here comes out of my own pocket. I made about $5000 total in 2017. You do the math. I hate math more than I hate March.

I hold firm to my belief that things will eventually get better. Vern is still around, although I don’t know for how long. He is doing okay; thanks for asking. He reminds me that even when it’s killing you, you still get up in the morning and greet the day with bright eyes and a clean slate.

Even if it’s March, the piece of shit month for jerks, full of metaphorical ass-rape and dicks. Even then.