The Man Who Cries

If you’re a man, the easiest way to get a woman to leave you is to cry in front of her.

Note that Orbison SANG about crying, rather than actually crying. He’s smiling in the photo because that’s what you do when you’re proud of your work.

It doesn’t matter if she says she won’t. All women do. This is the unspoken heterosexual law: men will do anything to hold on to one woman, but women know deep down that they can trade up whenever the mood strikes.

I’d call it “female privilege”, if I hadn’t already discouraged the use of the word. This is why guys like me get really irritated at charges of sexism and misogyny. Women have the world by the fucking cluster, but they want more, and they talk shit every step of the way. Such is life on earth. The beautiful ones are all cunts.

I’ve made the mistake of crying in front of spouses. Every one left, after promising they wouldn’t. It doesn’t matter if you cry about a gunshot wound or their dead father. No no, they say, I don’t think less of you. You sap; of course they’ve lost all respect. The girl already has a hand on the cock of a tougher, dry-eyed gentleman.

I saw Obama cry on television, and any respect I had left for him evaporated. I don’t even remember which tragedy he was crying about. I’d never seen a president cry in my life. Is he now obligated to tear up every time more innocent people die? Seems like a preposterous amount of energy expended to make one look sad. What a fucking phony Obama is. How about a rousing speech to salve this crippled country, like a president should do, rather than disingenuous crocodile tears?

See the problem? It doesn’t matter what the fuck you’re crying about: you are a man crying. That’s all anyone sees. A grown man, in tears, otherwise known as a respect obliterator. There are recordings of coaches and wrestling fans weeping that see heavy rotation on talk radio, as fodder for jokes.

This is one of the major supports of my rages about the feminization of men. No matter what any woman tells you about being in touch with your feelings, if you’re a man, and you cry on TV, a billion other men think you’re a total pussy.

I mentioned in another article that I cried at work in 1993, and almost the entire staff humiliated me. There is no point in explaining why I was crying. I was a grown man, married, with a job, crying at work! That’s a fucking PUSSY!

Equal rights are fine, but the word “equal” implies that men and women are, which they are not. Women can cry at work and receive encouragement, rather than derision. Even small men can move heavy objects, and shrug off criticism. A woman can ferment a new human being within her body. Guys can pee standing up.

Nine times out of ten, a woman will go on to deal with a crying infant, her own or someone else’s. That’s probably why it’s something they subconsciously avoid in dudes.

Women can take heart, however; eventually men like myself who portray any masculinity will all be dead, replaced by mincing Justin Beibers who roll their eyes and feint. You won’t realize anything’s wrong until it’s far too late, because you’re busy celebrating “empowerment”, and “bravery”, and “defeating sexism”. Your househusband will be doing the chores, when he finds your cassette collection from college.